The dreamer

When the night is silent and dark ,
And half the mind is sleeping,
I can feel behind my shut eyes,
A precious dream stealthily creeping.

I struggle in this subconsciousness,
An aspirant dream catcher,
So tightly blindfolded by stark reality,
Only sleep drowns this subordinary creature.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The higher plan

I felt it right then,
When you looked into my eyes,
Our destinies are intertwined,
And together we will rise ,
Above all that is convention,
And the promises proven untrue,
A higher plan is intended,
It's no use looking through.
So let's cross the line today,
But only in our dreams,
My life is worth living, in real,
If sometimes, of you, I get a glimpse.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Reasons

Everyday I find hundred reasons,
To stay out of your way,
You be safe, you be content,
That's only what I usually pray.

Then I find thousand more reasons,
To catch your attention,
And as I do it, I realize, I've given you
One more reason, from me, to run.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Agreement

Everybody deserves a second chance.
Come-on, so why not me?
You just can't block me this way,
And pretend not to see.

I promise, I'll let you be free,
And not be on constant guard,
You in turn, love me now and then,
When I'm lonely, and things get hard.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Scary thought

Sometimes, when I think about you,
I'm rudely taken aback,
By the intensity of the love I feel,
And the practicality that I lack.

So when another thought takes your place,
For a moment, or, say a few,
I become quite jittery and scared,
Fearing that I must have lost you.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Cry

I need to, somehow,
Let you know,
How this fire inside me,
Beyond bounds, I've let it grow,
That I find it arduous,
Anymore to contain,
Take away, take away,
What is yours for certain.

I have waited all this while,
My eyes searching far and wide,
Praying for you to come once more,
And wipe away the tears I cried.
The hope is lost, now I know,
Such, will never happen, again,
You've left, and the fire still burns,
But in vain, oh, how in vain.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

By the Animals...a song

"Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."

Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don't you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that all I have do is worry
Then you're bound to see my other side
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it's problems and I get my share
And that's one thing I never meant to do
Because I love you
Oh, Oh baby don't you know I'm human
Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself long regretting
Some foolish thing some little simple thing I've done
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Wilted wisdom

Well, I finally had to grow up,
And become somewhat wise.
I miss my youthful arrogance,
Those wishful dreams in naive eyes!

Wisdom hasn't been that easy,
Oh, I think too much these days,
Life seems to be in utter control,
While happiness shrewdly evades.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Just finished watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, back to back. Mesmerising. I would give anything to have such conversation, and such a night with someone.

The note

Even until this morning,
I so confidently believed,
You could possibly love me less,
But never quite unlove me.

Shortly after, I received a note,
Painstakingly handwritten by you,
Just to let me know, subtly,
That I'm despised, and how deeply so!
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Dear friend...

You are in a land,
So many distant miles away,
Inspite of the lost time between us,
We are so much closer today.

Now that we've grown up,
You know we could meet,
It should be fun to watch,
How, each other, we greet!
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Sorcery

Each morning as I rise,
I let my heart indulge,
In a silly little exercise.
Eluding time and space,
I concentrate on tricking you,
To bethink my forgotten face.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The dream

As the day progressed,
Not knowing why,
I grew pensive and quite perturbed.
In my last night's dream, I then recalled,
We couldn't look in the eye,
And you were forlorn and lost.
I concluded, perhaps,
To have found you so, it broke my heart.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The gifts

The music that you gathered
For me, one long sleepless night;
My touch that you so lovingly
Preserved, in the pocket of that shirt;
The pain in your look,
Knowing my dilemma and my plight;
The incidental warmth,
That our bodies shared, I still remember that;
A teardrop here; and a sigh there;
All locked up in the chest,
And carefully labelled as 'fragile',
These precious gifts, from my friend.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Unclaimed

They say,
You bring out the best in me,
In euphoric times,
And in emptiness. Equally.
So you see,
I've been consumed by you,
In everyway.
I am of no good to another.
This soul is sold.
And to be possessed by none.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The pact

When we said goodbye,
You couldn't smile,
Neither did you cry. Well, I did.
Now I don't anymore,
It's futile. You are fading away.
So let's make a pact now,
We'll meet sometimes,
In my dreams.
I will smile then.
And you can cry.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Touchstone

In a place beyond the dark,
Sinister times, there lies a white touchstone,
I'll travel in space, and fetch it one day,
And put it in your red trembling hands,
You should not suffer this way,
And be free from your web of lies.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Future

I am anxious to reach
That phase in my life,
When I can think of you,
And not be in constant strife
With self, and not be in pain,
When you are near me.
I want to look at you and smile,
Like before, like it once used to be.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Forbidden journey

This evening,
Caged in the present lifetime,
I wish to transcend,
The ever so hypnotic
And luminous twilight zone,
To find a place in eternity,
Where we can rebuild our lost hopes,
And dwell in the warmth of our desires,
Breathing the air of longing,
Drinking the potion of forbidden love.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Hackneyed lovestory

You would not understand,
How deeply I've loved you,
Such pity, you'll never realize your worth,
And know your life's true due.

You are reaching for the stars today,
You have no time and love has no value,
If tomorrow I should give up and turn away,
I know, you wouldn't look back to fret and rue.

But if you ever open your heart to me,
I would still be standing here,
Hopelessly loving you like I have always had,
Dreaming of a lifetime to share.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Time

Life and it's uncertainty,
Today it's all the more so,
If I am to die today,
With me this secret will go.

You will be here not knowing,
Perhaps a little sad for a day or two,
Then they will fade and be gone,
Memories of me, that you barely knew.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Cancer

There's a lump in my throat,
That's stuck and I can't swallow,
At times, it feels like it's gone,
Leaving behind a hollow.

Most days, it comes back,
As does a vicious cancer,
The pain blinds my common sense,
While I grope for an answer.

I don't fight it, I've lost the will,
This hurt I so tenderly nurture,
As this is all, that is left of you,
I am treasuring this torture.

Let me, this lost love, defiantly guard,
Meanwhile, you, be aloof, indifferent and hard.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Distance and time

I cannot be there,
Where, you are today,
So I'm hoping against hope,
That this love of ours wouldn't fray.

My soul would remain untouched,
A hundred decades down in time.
If you should promise the same to me,
Then this love would stay sublime.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Rebirth

If I were to believe,
In a life, after death,
Would you be mine then,
And in love, restore my faith?

Would you long as ardently,
For this timespan to lapse,
As each day I'm dying a little,
To be held in your arms?
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Ten perfect reasons

An ironbox, a seatbelt, a light bulb,
And ten more odd little things,
This corner spot on the well worn sofa,
Oh how your memory clings!

For the past few heady months,
You've meant the world to me.
How I've nurtured this desperation,
And now I'm dying to be free.

Since you are so bloody perfect,
It's not that easy to hate you.
So each single day I'm inventing reasons,
And I've actually found success in a few!
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Love lost

All is seemingly calm on the surface,
And days just pass by, as before.
Nobody can even vaguely guess,
How finally the soul, let, restrain score.

Life as we realize is pretty short,
And some things happen a bit too late,
The sadness of knowing what could've been,
Oh! This cruel twist of fate!

Things were never too rosy,
Yet nothing was ever that wrong,
But how do you think I'll carry on?
Now that I know where I belong.

Love has lost it's battle, this I quietly accept,
But how do I console a heart, wounded and so bereft?
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The dating game

There's a coffee shop nearby,
It catches my eye everyday,
How I long to just sit there,
And while my time away.

With a stranger I could chat,
Or flip through a much read book,
Or maybe just sip my latte,
Alone, with a faraway look.

But there remains this shy desire,
(Which could simply make my day,)
Of you, sitting across me,
So, what do you have to say?

Come, come my friend, this is just a date.
Why even think too much? Leave the rest to fate.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Just another day

First thing the other morning,
While the tea was brewing hot,
I pondered upon a tiny wish,
Suppose right then I was in your thought!

Would your heart then skip a beat?
Or would I make you frown?
Could I make you cry a little,
And make your heart in sadness drown?

Would you wish within my fancy wish,
That I was somewhere near?
Counting the ways you miss me,
Hoping that I should still care?

The telephone rang, the tea was done
The wish just fizzled and the day went on...
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Life in shades of orange

From amidst the concrete sidewalk,
Peeps a tiny orange wild flower,
It knows it could get trampled,
Or get withered in the next shower.
Yet it decides to smile today,
And not think about tomorrow.
Life is short and I'll not live with regrets,
So from it this zest I borrow.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Emancipation

Behind this wise and stoic facade,
Lies a forlorn and foolish heart,
Day after day it keeps up this act,
Playing an almost perfect part.

Once not so very long ago,
It too had sighed, longed and pined,
There did exist love and laughter,
But back then the heart ruled the mind.

It had given away all it had,
Not thinking, not once looking back,
Drowning in this sweet surrender,
Had laid itself naked on the rack.

Today it still suffers, letting go memories so fond,
But lesson has been learnt, and wisdom has dawned.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

To the mystic river...

By the deep river blue,
While the world still lay sleeping,
Beyond a dark scarlet hue,
I stood there all alone,
Heartbroken and tired from crying,
A precious dream far far gone.

The sun stealthily rose,
With it's soft light spreading...
And the water touched my toes.
Then somewhere from up and high,
I felt a warm brightness reaching
The hope that was about to die.

It filled my life with wisdom rare,
To that mystic river I offer a prayer.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Songbird

A wish is born.
But alas! The day is gone.
Did I wait too long?
To finally sing my song?
I hid it well, deep inside,
Where all the secret dreams reside,
Sheltering it from reality,
Polishing it to clarity.
It's ok. I'll wait another day,
To see sun's first golden ray.
With a missed heartbeat,
Bravely, I'll deliver this feat.
Tomorrow, I'll set my song free,
At a furtive count of three....
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Heartsong

Eons and eons back ,
In a place faraway ,
Past the seven seas ,
And behind the silver moon ,
Someplace beyond my reach ,
I had heard you croon .

Standing here this day ,
In a place known so well ,
Carrying a ravaged soul,
Burning in a searing pain .
Lost and desperately seeking ,
Your song again.

With your melody come once more ,
Rise, O rise, from my very core...
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Dorothy Parker

But Not Forgotten
I think, no matter where you stray,
That I shall go with you a way.
Though you may wander sweeter lands,
You will not soon forget my hands,
Nor yet the way I held my head,
Nor all the tremulous things I said.
You still will see me, small and white
And smiling, in the secret night,
And feel my arms about you when
The day comes fluttering back again.
I think, no matter where you be,
You'll hold me in your memory
And keep my image, there without me,
By telling later loves about me.

JRR Tolkien

I Sit and Think
I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall never see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.

Robert Frost

A Dream Pang
I had withdrawn in forest, and my song
Was swallowed up in leaves that blew alway;
And to the forest edge you came one day
(This was my dream) and looked and pondered long,
But did not enter, though the wish was strong:
You shook your pensive head as who should say,
‘I dare not—too far in his footsteps stray—
He must seek me would he undo the wrong.

Not far, but near, I stood and saw it all
Behind low boughs the trees let down outside;
And the sweet pang it cost me not to call
And tell you that I saw does still abide.
But ’tis not true that thus I dwelt aloof,
For the wood wakes, and you are here for proof.

A Question
A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.

John Donne

Confined Love
Some man unworthy to be possessor
Of old or new love, himself being false or weak,
Thought his pain and shame would be lesser
If on womankind he might his anger wreak,
And thence a law did grow,
One might but one man know;
But are other creatures so?

Are Sun, Moon, or Stars by law forbidden
To smile where they list, or lend away their light?
Are birds divorced, or are they chidden
If they leave their mate, or lie abroad a-night?
Beasts do no jointures lose
Though they new lovers choose,
But we are made worse than those.

Who e'er rigged fair ship to lie in harbours
And not to seek new lands, or not to deal withal?
Or built fair houses, set trees, and arbors,
Only to lock up, or else to let them fall?
Good is not good unless
A thousand it possess,
But dost waste with greediness.

The Broken Heart
He is stark mad, who ever says,
That he hath been in love an hour,
Yet not that love so soon decays,
But that it can ten in less space devour;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year ?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should say,
I saw a flask of powder burn a day ?

Ah, what trifle is a heart,
If once into Love’s hands it come!
All other griefs allow a part
To other griefs, and ask themselves but some,
They come to us, but us Love draws,
He swallows us, and never chaws:
By him, as by chain-shot, whole ranks do die,
He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.

If`twere not so, what did become
Of my heart, when I first saw thee ?
I brought a heart into the room,
But from the room, I carried non with me;
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thy heart to show
More pity unto me: but Love, alas,
At one first blow did shiver it as glass.

Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any place be empty quite,
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those pieces still, though they be not unite;
And now as broken glasses show
A hundred lesser faces, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
But after one such love, can love no more.

"Maybe we set sights upon things that we know we cannot attain. It's just the romance of the longing for such things. :)"

Golden words again from this friend.....oh he is so good with words, I envy him. There are so few people I actually like, and some of them come closest to what could have been the idea of a soulmate(I read somewhere, a soulmate need not be a lover or a spouse). But then I am unfortunate and very very bad at maintaining easiness in a relationship. So alas.

I wish I hadn't....

Last evening when I took cutie down to the park to play, a friend commented how forlorn and lost I looked, afterall it's my birthday, I should be cheerful. I said I realized, but failed to be happy.....there's a knot in my heart....my eyes kept stinging....she is a wise girl....she said she understood...she said that every birthday we wish that something extraordinary is going to happen in our lives, but it never does, and another birthday just passes by....just like any other day....

I am very good at f****** up relationships. I breed complexity. Inspite of knowing deep down that expectation is the root cause of sorrow, I end up expecting too much, and then fall flat....losing everything I had. Why do I do this.....regret is so painful.....and deeds are so irreversible.

Edgar Allan Poe

Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

"The Happiest Day"
The happiest day -- the happiest hour
My sear'd and blighted heart hath known,
The highest hope of pride and power,
I feel hath flown.

Of power! said I? yes! such I ween;
But they have vanish'd long, alas!
The visions of my youth have been-
But let them pass.

And, pride, what have I now with thee?
Another brow may even inherit
The venom thou hast pour'd on me
Be still, my spirit!

The happiest day -- the happiest hour
Mine eyes shall see -- have ever seen,
The brightest glance of pride and power,
I feel- have been:

But were that hope of pride and power
Now offer'd with the pain
Even then I felt -- that brightest hour
I would not live again:

For on its wing was dark alloy,
And, as it flutter'd -- fell
An essence -- powerful to destroy
A soul that knew it well.

Imitation
A dark unfathomed tide
Of interminable pride -
A mystery, and a dream,
Should my early life seem;
I say that dream was fraught
With a wild and waking thought
Of beings that have been,
Which my spirit hath not seen,
Had I let them pass me by,
With a dreaming eye!
Let none of earth inherit
That vision of my spirit;
Those thoughts I would control,
As a spell upon his soul:
For that bright hope at last
And that light time have past,
And my worldly rest hath gone
With a sigh as it passed on:
I care not though it perish
With a thought I then did cherish.

A Dream Within a Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?


Romance
Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been- a most familiar bird-
Taught me my alphabet to say-
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child- with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal Condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky.
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings-
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away- forbidden things!
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.

I am blessed to have got a husband like mine.....

I'll be 33 at 12 tonight........and my mind is absolutely blank, my feelings are numb, my heart is empty.....no I am not scared of getting older by another year. Birthdays have lost their charm....wishes have become complex with age....wishes hardly ever come true......

Pablo Neruda

Always
I am not jealous
Of what came before me.
Come with a man on your shoulders,
Come with a hundred men in your hair,
Come with a thousand men between your breasts and your feet,
Come like a riverfull of drowned men
Which flows down to the wild sea,
To the eternal surf, to Time!

Bring them all
To where I am waiting for you;
We shall always be alone,
We shall always be you and I
Alone on earth
To start our life!

If You Forget Me
I want you to know
One thing.

You know how this is:if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Sonnet XCIV
If I die, survive me with such a pure force
you make the pallor and the coldness rage;
flash your indelible eyes from south to south,
from sun to sun, till your mouth sings like a guitar.

I don't want your laugh or your footsteps to waver;
I don't want my legacy of happiness to die;
don't call to my breast: I'm not there.
Live in my absence as in a house.

Absence is such a large house
that you'll walk through the walls,
hang pictures in sheer air.

Absence is such a transparent house
that even being dead I will see you there,
and if you suffer, Love, I'll die a second time.

For you...

This is for you, you who have changed me for ever, for the better; you who have made me fall in love with myself, and made me realize selfworth; you who have made most of my dreams come true; you who have never failed to irritate me, and also never failed to make me smile even during the hardest times.....I love you.

I was aimless.
You showed me the light.
When I was down and weak,
You held me tight.
You left me with regrets few,
So let me say, Thank You!

You cocooned my life,
With the love that has grown,
Slow and for so long,
And all the kindness shown.
Let me give back, I'll start anew,
By saying once more, Thank You!

Any difference, we'll try and mend,
You'll always remain my best friend.

Happy Birthday:).

Diwali crafts.

A friend is giving a stall at her apartment complex during the Diwali...she has painted diyas beautifully, wrapped them and intend to sell these. Yesterday we sat down and painted a few glasses to be sold as tea lights...after being filled up with gel wax....but with a diwali theme. I felt alive after a long time....such creative activities are very invigorating.....freshens my mind.

It's raining since morning.......Bangalore needs a makeover...must be made into something like Paris(I survive on lofty dreams!) complete with bistros with sit outs, neat walkable sidewalks(so that one can just wander about aimlessly)....why....because of it's weather. It's romantic all year round...summer, autumn, winter, the rainy times.....it should be projected as India's love city!

The last week....

Cutie is part of a dance programme to be performed during the Diwali festivities...ha ha....it's hilarious, it's heartwarming, it's such a moment of pride....my baby is growing up:). Every evening she goes for rehearsals! She shakes her booty just fine!

Had a party last night at our place....had cooked a elaborate three course meal...
Starter-Bekti fish fry
Main course-Peas pulao
Khud Pukht Qureshi(a lentil dish served at the royal
courts...the recipe book stated so!)
Mattar Makhana Korma
Mutton
Dessert-Bhapa Doi
Ras Malai
Everything came out so very well that I was taken aback. I couldn't believe my taste buds! My guests loved the food and had generous portions of everything(a good sign). The children ran wild and had great fun...fighting, crying, pushing, yelling, and also hugging, holding hands, kissing...:)
I don't understand this phenomena..my natural affinity towards people from Bihar, now partly Jharkhand...I usually end up liking somebody, become friends and then realize, "oh!, you are a Bihari!"(and to start with I like so few people), and to think about it I hardly knew a single Bihari before I got married....there is something uncanny about this whole thing....cannot really put my finger on it. New friends I made in the apartment..Biharis; gym instructor...Bihari.....; even my maid..she is a Tamil alright, but born and raised in Jamshedpur..thus speaks very good hindi, hard to find here down south......serendipity!

I was offered to join a women's kitty, and I said yes...big deal...given how I abhorred the very idea of gossiping and wasting time....but what the heck. I need to be social, for my cutie's sake, I don't want her to grow up lonely.

Timepass...

Love this song...



Watched this movie today..Music and Lyrics, starring my all-time favourite Hugh Grant, and Drew Barrymore. Very cute movie...I am sucker for romantic comedies...anytime, anyday! The entire movie is about this song and how it got composed. Nice one.

Just a passing thought...

I just realized....this is another October...can't believe....how time flies......one whole year just passed by...

This Durga Puja was exceptionally eventful and happy for us. We actually pandal hopped...can you beat it!!! We had a super sumptuous bengali Mahabhoj...a spectacular spread of authentic bengali dishes...at such times you actually wish you were a glutton of sorts.....what a waste, we can hardly eat.

Cutie had a wonderful time, I am so satisfied that we could do something to make her this happy.Dusshera was uneventful though. Being brought up in a remote place in West Bengal, I have never really seen Ramleela and the burning of Ravana. Once during this time we were in Jhansi, I guess I had seen a part of Ramleela then. But someday I'd really love to see how this festival is for non-bengalis. For bengalis Dashami or the Dusshera day is usually a sad one, it's the end of Durga Puja. The immersion ceremony always makes me sad.

Now looking forward to our birthdays, and Diwali...all of which fall almost at the same time.

An afterthought....Ram and Ravana...good and evil..really? Was everything that Ram did happened to be right? Didn't Ravana have any goodness in him. Why is right and wrong always so harshly demarcated.....always white and black, when there exist a prominent gray in every human.

Example....I often cry when I hear a street dog whimper in pain; I blindly believe when my maid talks about her sufferings and don't think twice before giving away money and things; I try not to hurt anybody on purpose; I hardly lie.

Example....when someone asks for a spare gas cylinder I make excuses and don't usually comply; I am not too fond of other people's children....they are fine from a distance; I sometimes discuss people behind their back; judge people baselessly....etc etc....can go on forever.

What am I....white, black or gray???

Maha Oshtomi

It was a perfect day. Went to the pandal in the evening....met up with friends....hubby met his friends, cutie met her friends(including her very first boyfriend!), I had a nice chat with my friends. Bought dinner and came back late...had a sumptuous meal....sipping a wonderful French white wine right now(thanks to a friend who gifted these bottles)...and feeling very very satiated and sleepy. And a little sad...for no apparent reason.

Durga Puja

Today is Maha Saptomi...had gone to the pandal both yesterday and today. Didn't expect this kinda crowd here...so far away from Kolkata. I remember, before cutie came in our lives we hardly made any effort to celebrate Durga Puja in any special way, infact in these 8 long years we have hardly been to pandals. We never even went to Kolkata until last year, that is after cutie came home. Strange, being bengalis....but then WE ARE STRANGE!

Last year cutie had a blast in Kolkata, she pandal hopped with her grandpa, firmly seated on her stroller. She even danced to the magical beats of dhaak....who says she is not a bengali...she has been sent for us, she is a bengali at heart. This year she is really excited...as evening approaches she becomes restless, asks me to dress her up in her new dresses, sits patiently as I tie her unruly curls into disciplined plaits...and she is ready to go.

Somehow her excitement has permeated through us, we are also liking the feel of this years puja...for the first time in many years we are looking forward to each coming day...we are dressing up, we are eating well, more importantly I am cooking everyday(which has become very very rare these days), atleast one special dish for my foodie husband. Something's in the air...some kind of magic.

Now I know....when you have someone really special to share something good with, it is then that you actually feel happy. Cutie has filled up my life, my world. Bless her.

A wish....

I wish upon a shooting star,
On this long lonely night,
That you who's in a place so far,
May never have to fight,

With the demons of heartbreak,
In this cruel ruthless world,
So full of deceit and emotions fake,
May you be strong and never a coward.

You are good, and you are brave,
So never try and change.
You've had your share, with fate a close shave.
May you be happy now, out of grief's range.

Believe me, I'll always pray,
Be content, be complete, you may, you may...
© 2008 Rituparna Das
ABAB ABAB ABAB AA...rhyming pattern. An amateurish effort.....learning, learning.

Desired dilemma

Shackled in monotony
How I long to run wild
Just a day or two maybe
Free and happy like a child
Perhaps the misty mountains
Or the deep dark forest calls
Where there is nothing certain
No goals, and promises false
Caught in the grip of passing clouds
Shrouded by the darkness of unknown
Deep down in my heart for so long
This longing has slowly grown

To break every rule and disobey
A desire to run away someday
© 2008 Rituparna Das
A first attempt at sonnet writing, following a rhyming pattern of ABCB ABCB ABCB AA.

Secret love

I stood waiting forever,
With this dream in my heart,
And someone like you in my head.
From reality far apart.

One windy night, you did walk in.
The realization left me awstruck.
Eyes met and you smiled.
I could hardly believe my luck.

You will never be mine.
And strangely I don't regret.
That you exist, is enough.
I am content loving you in secret.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

I've stolen the title from a Bee Gees song.

Caffeinated contemplation.

It's past midnight,
And I am still awake.
Hubby's watching a movie,
And cutie's fast asleep.
I yawn and I'm so tired,
Yet the time doesn't seem right.

What could've gone so wrong?
Oh now I think I remember.
It's a cup of evening tea,
Oh that caffeine's my enemy.
So how do I kill the time?
Listening to another song?

Finally....I feel really really good today. Went over to a friend's place for lunch...had a nice long soul searching:) chat. Cutie had a good time too...vandalizing mama's friend's(whom she thinks to be her own)house. Thank god that I share a very informal and easy relationship with this person, otherwise cutie's activities would have embarassed me to no end.

Today is my sis-in-laws b'day. They live in UK, my brother has taken her to Spain....they have rented an apartment by the sea in some quaint little coastal town for a week. Sounds blissful...they even cook dinner at home. She just lost her mother...this break was badly needed....may she and my brother have a happy life, always.

I was just thinking...courtesy cutie, I have watched just too many animation movies lately, to name a few:-
Happy Feet
Cars
Finding Nemo
Shrek 1
Shrek 2
Shrek 3
Kung Fu Panda
Ice Age
Wall-E
Madagascar
Phew! That's really something, given that I never used to consider animation movies to be worth watching. I actually loved most of them. I had to watch them for about 10 times. Minimum. Each.

Rock On

Last night we finally did watch ROCK ON. It was a sudden plan, first postponed, then preponed. Long live indecisive girls! Long live impulsive girls! What a movie it is. Worth every penny, worth all the wait. Long haired, guitar strumming Arjun Rampal....ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy goooooood!!! And this Farhan Akhtar guy, so damn impressive....very very goodlooking, good director, good actor, damn damn damn good singer. He is a rockstar...no faking here...he has sung all the songs himself. The movie was so perfect....no drama, no filmibazi...superb actors...sleek and just right. A good hindi movie after a long time.

Dreamers discretion denied.

Last night I was sleeping well.
That is until you barged in
My dreams and trampled my calm.
You smiled like you do, sunshine!
I was happy, and so I cried.
Fact from fiction I couldn't tell.

Which one is better? I hardly know.
Strangely, you were as elusive.
My reverie even you didn't spare.
You could've atleast pretended,
It was just a dream for God's sake.
Point taken. Well then.Let it be so.

Another cheap attempt at love pervaded poetry writing!

Nightout cancelled. Rather postponed to 1st night. It's ok, was not feeling well anyways. This is taking too long, when will I recover fully. I cooked today:)....Bhapa Chingri...mustard and coconut steamed prawns. Came out really well, this is one dish I have become quite adept at. Never goes wrong. Basically a eventless lazy saturday...nice to have such days sometimes, three of us just hanging out and not doing much:). Cutie is just happy to be around both mama and papa....Cutie and I watched Living Free, sequel to Born Free together. She loves to watch animal movies, got all excited, even started licking me at some point(the lion cubs were doing so)! But sadly all through the movie cutie kept shouting "baby tiger, baby tiger" inspite of correcting her on many occasions:)!!!

Acceptance.

Days pass by.
I've got used to
The void inside.
I no longer cry.

Where are you?
Shielded in pretense,
Hiding behind work?
Mind giving a cue?

Inspite of trying,
You know something?
I still miss you.
I don't like lying.

Would you ever admit?
Don't. Just be happy.
I'll understand u know,
This act of remit.
(Not sure about the meaning of this word 'remit'...still in doubt as whether it fits here, whether it signifies the right meaning....another option to the last line "This denial to submit."

Just like that

A friend came over for lunch today. We watched Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa over a sumptuous meal of alu parathas, chhole and boondi raita. Must admit that it was a fairly decent start to the weekend after a sickness induced depressing hiatus! Also the girls are planning for another night out for tomorrow...this time determined to watch Rock On, big time. Not bad, not bad. Durga puja is round the corner, looking forward to it....mostly because of the socialising factor. Yeah yeah, sometimes this antisocial element craves for human company too....contradictions personified. I amaze myself at times.

About the movie...cute guy, cuter girl, not so grand film, or rather cute movie too, only I am much grown up for it now.

Oh I am so happy...no reason at all. Just the weather you know...cool and crisp. Feel like going away for a trip somewhere with similar weather conditions....no tension, no worries. Cutie started her first vacation(ever!) today onwards. Cutie is cute most of the times, a shrew sometimes:)! Gotta find a way to calm her down, or else I'll go hoarse and crazy shouting at her. Motherhood doesn't come easy to impatient people! Learning, learning...will reach there someday...have belief, will do it.

I am tired of sitting at home and popping pills three times a day! Why is this taking so long....I want to get better. It takes toll on your mental and emotional health. People don't help, they make it worse for you. I just want to get going and do my usual stuff.....only if I felt better:(. Some people are so self absorbed, they hardly care, they will never do the simplest thing to make someone feel better...to hell with them!

Some of my favourite songs again....I cannot help it...I hardly have anything better to do right now...
Khamaj By Pakistani Band Fuzon


Tere Bina - Fuzon live


Tere Bin -ATIF ASLAM
Very cute guy with very inconsistent singing style....but some turned out to be gems no doubt.


Meri Kahani - ATIF ASLAM


Bol Na Halke Halke - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan


Mann ki lagan - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan


Rahat Fateh Ali Khan - Jiya Dhadak Dhadak Jaye


Strings - Sar kiye ye pahar
Never fails to make me nostalgic....the next song too...


Strings - Duur


Saaiyaan-Kailash Kher
This song takes me to another world. It makes me want to believe in the kind of love that is so intense, so deep....so complete...I don't have words to express the kind of feeling I get when I listen to this particular song. I'll still give it a shot....it makes me feel as if I am standing at a precipice, and I don't care, I can easily die for the person I love. But who deserves such kinda love, and I am not even capable of such loving.What a waste.....but this song has a spiritual quality...


Baawra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Mohit Chauhan

I absolutely love this guy. He is the lead vocalist in the band SILKROUTE. Lately singing a lot of singles....and jingles....
Guncha Koi


Sabse Peeche Hum Khade


Silkroute-Humsafar


Silk Route - Dooba Dooba
This is their first video, and I have been in love with this guy since then....who says I am not a loyal person...the deserving ones surely get it!


Boondein By Mohit Chauhan


Tum Se Hi - Jab We Met-By Mohit
Chauhan


Kismat Konnection - Is This Love - Kahin Na Laage-By Mohit Chauhan

Dido-White Flag


Lyrics-White Flag
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Beatles-I'm Looking Through You


Beatles-I'm Looking Through You-Lyrics
I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Your lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear
You don't sound different, I've learned the game.
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

You're thinking of me, the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you're down there
I'm looking through you, and you're nowhere

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Yeah! Oh baby you changed!
Aah! I'm looking through you!
Yeah! I'm looking through you!
You changed, you changed, you changed!

Glen Hansard-Say It To Me Now


Lyrics-Say It To Me Now
I'm scratching at the surface now
And I'm trying hard to work it out
So much has gone misunderstood
This mystery only leads to doubt
And I didn't understand
When you reached out to take my hand
And if you have something to say
You'd better say it now

Cause this is what you've waited for
Your chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause this is what you've waited for
A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause I'm picking up a message Lord
And I'm closer than I've ever been before

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now
Say it to me now
Say it to me now

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova Live at
Sundance!

(Not so) Short summary of sickness

I have not been this sick in a very very long time......a raptured eardrum(can u beat it!), fever, acute sinusitis, throat infection....what not! Such a eeky condition. Seems like it will stay this way for sometime longer, it's already been more than a week now. I have never in my life taken so many medicines, and it has been prescribed for 11 long days, with 7 days of high dose antibiotics. Doc asked me to eat well....I have lost my sense of smell since about last 6 days, everything tastes bitter, I could as well eat a pair of leather shoes and not even know! Eat well...huh! To top that, I was to give some blood samples last evening, a proper vein couldn't be found(I have this problem, but never takes this long), it took the nurse more than 10 minutes to draw blood from an appropriate vein. What's wrong with me! Now I have to see a ENT specialist too, tomorrow. Hope I don't go deaf in one ear...ha ha, I am now though. Read up in the internet...it takes about 2 weeks for a new eardrum to grow back....2 weeks of deafness...cool! One good thing about this entire episode, hubby is at home on leave taking care of me:).

My doctor deserves a mention here. After taking one look at my ear all he could say at first was OH!. Then he asked me how bad the pain was, I said terrible, ha asked me why I didn't call him when I was in so much of pain, I replied because it was in the middle of the night, and then he said the sweetest thing, he said "sometimes you should exercise your liberty to disturb me, the doctor, at the middle of the night, that's my job". We were very touched by this gesture, this statement seems so special and surprising because we in general have lost faith in the goodness of people. Such people help us restore faith in the human species.


An afterthought A couple of weeks back when cutie was not well, at a few desperate moments I did ask God to transfer all her ailments and pains to me. I was reading, ear infection and rapture of eardrum is usually common in children between ages 2-7, adults are not that prone. So could it be so? Could it be so that God really listened to my prayers. May it be so, may it be so that this quota of sickness gets covered by me, and never touch cutie.

Mush feed of the day....listening with one ear!
Dire Straits - So Far Away


So Far Away-Dire Straits-Lyrics
Here I am again in this mean old town
And you're so far away from me
And where are you when the sun goes down
You're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just cant see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

I'm tired of being in love and being all alone
When you're so far away from me
I'm tired of making out on the telephone
And you're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just can't see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

I get so tired when I have to explain
When you're so far away from me
See you been in the sun and Ive been in the rain
And you're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just cant see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

Too lazy to write....

Oh I thrive on mush. No use pretending otherwise.



Queen - The Great Pretender lyrics

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending I’m doing well (ooh ooh)
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Ooh ooh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I’m not (you see)
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around

Yeah ooh hoo
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Oh yes I’m the great pretender

What a flamboyant performer, and what a (OMG)band!

Muffin magic

Gorged on a hot blueberry muffin(still not well, and so continue craving unusual "not my kinda" stuff), flushed it down with water and a dose of paracetamol, and lo(!), this is what comes out!!!

Oh yeah I am in pain.
God knows I'm trying hard.
Heart is constantly crying
But the mind's always on guard.

I ain't gonna give up.
No. Noway.

Sometimes it's easy,
Somedays are darn rough.
But that's what is called life,
And I'm fighting to be tough.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

There's hardly a reason.
Still, I keep loving you.
Each passing day is a test.
Hopes's riding high, when chances're few.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

You would've loved this(I know),
Day's crisp and the sun's shining bright,
Something strong is telling me,
Somehow, everything's gonna be alright.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

(I cannot help but think that this looks pretty good man! Wish I had somebody to put this to tune).

Voice angels

Sunday lunch was good. It was a potluck, I cooked mutton. I cooked after a long time, everybody loved it, thank God I haven't yet lost it. Still don't feel good though, my sinusitis is killing me, and I hate taking steam inhalation:(.

Back to music, much refreshing and a good distraction.

Alicia Keys-No One

She is such a beautiful woman, and such a powerful voice.

Leona Lewis-Bleeding Love


Bleeding Love-Lyrics

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding love.


Another gorgeous woman with a voice to match!

Ella Fitzgerald-Everytime We Say Goodbye


Everytime We Say Goodbye-lyrics

Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When youre near, theres such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
Theres no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
Minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

Ella Fitzgerald-Lullaby Of Birdland


Lullaby of Birdland Lyrics
Artist(Band):Ella Fitzgerald

Oh, lullaby of birdland
That's what I always hear,
When you sigh,
Never in my wordland could there be ways to reveal
in a phrase how I feel

Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo, when they love?
That's the kind of magic music we make with our lips
When we kiss

And there's a weepy old willow
He really knows how to cry,
That's how I'd cry in my pillow
If you should tell me farewell and goodbye

Lullaby of birdland whisper low
Kiss me sweet, and we'll go
Flying high in birdland, high in the sky up above
All because were in love

Ooo Ooo Ooo

Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo, when they love?
That's the kind of magic music we make with our lips
When we kiss

And there's a weepy old willow
He really knows how to cry
That's how I'd cry in my pillow
If you should tell me farewell and goodbye

Lullaby of birdland whisper low
Kiss me sweet, and we'll go
Flying high in birdland, high in the sky up above
All because were in love

Dolly Parton-Jolene


Dolly Parton-I'll Always Love You


Artist: Parton Dolly
Song: I Will Always Love You
Album: Live & Well

If I should stay
Well I would only be in your way
And so I'll go, and yet I know
That I'll think of you each step of my way

And I will always love you
I will always love you

Bittersweet memories
That's all I have and all I'm taking with me
Good-bye, oh please don't cry
Cause we both know that I'm not what you need

But I will always love you
I will always love you

And I hope life will treat you kind
And I hope that you have all
That you ever dreamed of
Oh I do wish you joy and I wish you happiness
But above all of this, I wish you love
I love you, I will always love you

I, I will always, always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you

Enya-Only Time


Enya-Only Time lyrics


Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

(chants)

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

(chants)

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,In your heart.
And who can say when the day sleeps,
The moon still keeps on moving
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

(extended chants)

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows? Only time...
Who knows? Only time...

Enya-Wild Child


Enya-Wild Child
Music: Eithne Ní Bhraonáin
Lyrics: Roma Ryan

Ever close your eyes
Ever stop and listen
Ever feel alive
And you've nothing missing
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Let the rain fall down
Everywhere around you
Give into it now
Let the day surround you
You don't need a reason
Let the rain go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Only take the time
From the helter skelter
Every day you find
Everything's in kilter
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Every summer sun
Every winter evening
Every spring to come
Every autumn leaving
You don't need a reason
Let it all go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Da-da da da da da, da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
What a way, what a way to make it through
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

One of my favourite singers, and song. What a happy song this is and I love to sing along.

Enya-It's In The Rain


Artist: Enya lyrics
Album: Amarantine
Year: 2005
Title: It's In The Rain

Everytime the rain comes down
I close my eyes and listen
I can hear the lonesome sound
Of the sky as it cries

Listen to the rain
Here it comes again
Hear it in the rain

Feel the touch of tears that fall
They won't fall forever
In the way the day will flow
All things come, all things go

Listen to the rain... the rain
Here it comes again... again
Hear it in the rain... the rain

Late at night I drift away
I can hear you calling
And my name is in the rain
Leaves on trees whispering
Deep blue seas, mysteries

Even when this moment ends
Can't let go this feeling
Everything will come again
In the sound falling down
Of the sky as it cries
Hear my name in the rain

Nocturnal venture

Defied the virus,
And stepped outside,
In quest of some goodtime.
Little aches I had to abide,
But the night was so sublime.
Three cheers to us!

Finally decided not to reconcile to the sickness and go out and have some fun. Fun it was. Very liberating. Watched The Last Lear, as didn't manage to get tickets for Rock On. The movie was good, slow, complex, but good. I liked it. Arjun Rampal rocks! What a hunk! He can act too, very well that is, these days. And Shefali Shah, what a beautiful and talented woman she is. There are some people whose eyes are so expressive that you hardly need to see beyond them, inspite of added physical attractiveness. She is such a person, she has large liquid beautiful eyes which do all the talking, she might as well keep mum!

Rituparno Ghosh is capable of understanding and portraying complex human emotions. Laudable effort. Sometimes cliched, but mostly excellent cinema. There's always this element of expectation, and the unknown. Needs to be watched with a very clear state of mind though.

Weekend is not that bad afterall. Supposed to have lunch with friends on Sunday. Just need to feel a bit better physically before that.

Desperately by Don Williams

Desperately Lyrics
Artist(Band):Don Williams


My heart is out of control this ole love struck soul
Just lives for the moment you're around
When I hold on to you it is all I can do just to keep my feet on the ground
Desperately loving you desperately
When you're not here with me I get a little bit crazy
Constantly I think about you constantly
Look at what you've done to me I'm just like a little baby
Oh I love you desperately
[ ac.guitar ]
Will I laugh will I cry will I live will I die it all depends upon you
And it is dangerous I know to be lost in you so but I am and there's nothing I can do
Desperately loving you desperately...
[ ac.guitar ]
Desperately loving you desperately...

I Believe in You by Don Williams

Artist: Williams Don
Song: I Believe in You
Album: Don Williams - 20 Greatest Hits


I don't believe in superstars,
Organic food and foreign cars.
I don't believe the price of gold;
The certainty of growing old.
That right is right and left is wrong,
That north and south can't get along.
That east is east and west is west.
And being first is always best.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,
For only those who congregate.
I like to think of God as love:
He's down below, He's up above.
He's watching people everywhere.
He knows who does and doesn't care.
And I'm an ordinary man,
Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love.
I believe in music.
I believe in magic.
And I believe in you.

Well, I know with all my certainty,
What's going on with you and me,
Is a good thing.
It's true, I believe in you.

I don't believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be.
In working days and sleeping nights,
That black is black and white is white.
That Superman and Robin Hood,
Are still alive in Hollywood.
That gasoline's in short supply,
The rising cost of getting by.

But I believe in love.
I believe in old folks.
I believe in children.
I believe in you.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Don Williams, Another Place Another Time

Don Williams, Another Place Another Time lyrics

Oh it's late I know I should be leaving
We've both got someone waiting we'll have to go
And it's so strange to think that I just met you
I almost wish I'd met you long ago
In your eyes I see a certain look and that same look must be in mine
And who knows just what we might have been another place another time

I'll admit in time that I'll forget you
Cause the truth is I still love her after all
But even though we knew it couldn't happen
For a moment we felt something oh so strong
And in your eyes...
And who knows just what we might have been another place another time

A waltz for a night by Julie Delpy

From the movie Before Sunset


Let Me Sing You A Waltz
out Of Nowhere, Out Of My Thoughts
let Me Sing You A Waltz
about This One Night Stand

you Were For Me That Night
everything I Always Dreamt Of In Life
but Now You're Gone
you Are Far Gone
all The Way To Your Island Of Rain

it Was For You Just A One Night Thing
but You Were Much More To Me
just So You Know

i Hear Rumors About You
about All The Bad Things You Do
but When We Were Together Alone
you Didn't Seem Like A Player At All

i Don't Care What They Say
i Know What You Meant For Me That Day
i Just Wanted Another Try
i Just Wanted Another Night
even If It Doesn't Seem Quite Right
you Meant For Me Much More
than Anyone I've Met Before

one Single Night With You Little Jesse
is Worth A Thousand With Anybody

i Have No Bitterness, My Sweet
i'll Never Forget This One Night Thing
even Tomorrow, Another Arms
my Heart Will Stay Yours Until I Die

let Me Sing You A Waltz
out Of Nowhere, Out Of My Blues
let Me Sing You A Waltz
about This Lovely One Night Stand

I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it. This movie is so great, I have missed Before Sunrise, gotta catch it. Both Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are so good, and this song comes at the end of the movie, like the cliched cherry on the pie!

Sick and hungry

What a crappy weekend this one turned out to be with all the fever and cold:(! All I feel like doing is gorge on hot, spicy, sweet and sour stuff like chaats!!! Poor hubby is made to run around for these. I am so lucky to have a husband like him. When I look at husbands of my friends and aquaintances, I cannot help but thank my stars. Cutie is lucky too, having a father like him. With a super volatile mom around, such a father was badly needed.

Anyways, today was supposed to be girls night out, movie Rock On, night show. Was all excited and looking forward to this, sadly would have to do with "saturday night fever" instead!

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN by Poison

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
LYRICS


We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

It's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar will remain

I know I could save a love that night
If I'd known what to sayInstead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

and now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

Love to love you by The Corrs

Lyrics & Music By: The Corrs



I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
I, met you on a sunny Autumn day,
You instantly attracted me,
when asking for the way,
God if I had known the pain I'd make you feel,
I would have stopped this thought of us,
and turned upon my heel,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Time will help you see the light,
You don't need me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

You recognised my barrier to love,
I know there's nothing worse than unrequited love, unrequited love,
So I prayed to God that I could give the love you gave to me,
But something's lying in my way, preventing it to be,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me

Break those pillars down,
Break those pillars down,
Take those pillars down, down, down,
Oh, take those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Break those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Oh take those pillars down

Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Take those pillars down,
Love to love you

There's something hauntingly beautiful about Irish music....

Rave reverie

I am sick...fever, headache, sore throat and every other thing that comes with it! Poor hubby had to take leave. Inspite of not feeling well, inspite of doses of paracetamol, couldn't make myself sleep a little bit. Thus this indulgence in disjointed thoughts.

I have a few secret dreams.....most should remain unexpressed.....two I can talk about.

Secret dream #1 I want to have a published book to my name. Seems impossible. Reading about famous authors like Arundhati Roy, Amitav Ghosh, Vikram Seth, David Davidar, Jhumpa Lahiri etc etc, I have come to know that all of them are highly qualified people. I am neither a literature student, nor a holder of hi-fi degrees, sadly:(. Thus this dream too, like all others, would just remain a dream, probably. My supremely optimist husband says "You never know!" How I would love to believe him.

Secret dream #2 I want to meet Vikram Seth. Not just 'meet' 'meet', like in famous author and autograph seeking reader kinda scenario, but to be able to sit and talk to him, a little more than the time I take for my usual inhibitions to drop and be myself. I also realize, for this dream to come true I'd probably have to make the first one happen. Chances are bleak, I know.

I love to dream, still.

You don't know what it's like to love somebody the way I love you.

Artist: The Bee Gees
Album: Bee Gees' 1st
Year: 1967


There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to be lived with you
Lived with you

There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got

You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you

In my brain I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You ain't got to be so blind
And I'm blind, so very blind

I'm a man, can't you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
I ain't got you, ain't got

Traaalaaaaaaaaa ....... here comes the song of the day! I really like this song. I like most of their songs. I listen to this song and think how it starts on a near normal tone, and slowly with the advancing stanzas it starts perpetuating sadness. A profound sadness arising from the sense of hopelessly being in love with an impossible person.

To think of it, in reality too, it takes some time for any kind of profound emotion experienced to sink in, isn't it. This song seems so personal, as if while in the process of singing the singer suddenly realizes the truth of the lyrics and cannot help the sadness of his heart from creeping into the rendition, slowly.

This is a song by Bee Gees, written and performed by them. Such lyrics don't just happen, we like to believe that they are fruits of some personal experiences. It made me wonder.....these people are famous people, and we usually associate famous people with luck and fortune, luck atleast in love. Who wouldn't fall in love with a rockstar or a popstar or whatever! Someone sure didn't, as the song indicates. We humans, 'nobodies' as well as a 'somebody' always do manage to fall in love with a wrong person, always, at some point in our lives. Strange.

( Now I am trying to get into the heads of the Bee Gees.....ha ha....I am absolutely fascinating!)