Cancer

There's a lump in my throat,
That's stuck and I can't swallow,
At times, it feels like it's gone,
Leaving behind a hollow.

Most days, it comes back,
As does a vicious cancer,
The pain blinds my common sense,
While I grope for an answer.

I don't fight it, I've lost the will,
This hurt I so tenderly nurture,
As this is all, that is left of you,
I am treasuring this torture.

Let me, this lost love, defiantly guard,
Meanwhile, you, be aloof, indifferent and hard.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Distance and time

I cannot be there,
Where, you are today,
So I'm hoping against hope,
That this love of ours wouldn't fray.

My soul would remain untouched,
A hundred decades down in time.
If you should promise the same to me,
Then this love would stay sublime.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Rebirth

If I were to believe,
In a life, after death,
Would you be mine then,
And in love, restore my faith?

Would you long as ardently,
For this timespan to lapse,
As each day I'm dying a little,
To be held in your arms?
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Ten perfect reasons

An ironbox, a seatbelt, a light bulb,
And ten more odd little things,
This corner spot on the well worn sofa,
Oh how your memory clings!

For the past few heady months,
You've meant the world to me.
How I've nurtured this desperation,
And now I'm dying to be free.

Since you are so bloody perfect,
It's not that easy to hate you.
So each single day I'm inventing reasons,
And I've actually found success in a few!
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Love lost

All is seemingly calm on the surface,
And days just pass by, as before.
Nobody can even vaguely guess,
How finally the soul, let, restrain score.

Life as we realize is pretty short,
And some things happen a bit too late,
The sadness of knowing what could've been,
Oh! This cruel twist of fate!

Things were never too rosy,
Yet nothing was ever that wrong,
But how do you think I'll carry on?
Now that I know where I belong.

Love has lost it's battle, this I quietly accept,
But how do I console a heart, wounded and so bereft?
© 2008 Rituparna Das

The dating game

There's a coffee shop nearby,
It catches my eye everyday,
How I long to just sit there,
And while my time away.

With a stranger I could chat,
Or flip through a much read book,
Or maybe just sip my latte,
Alone, with a faraway look.

But there remains this shy desire,
(Which could simply make my day,)
Of you, sitting across me,
So, what do you have to say?

Come, come my friend, this is just a date.
Why even think too much? Leave the rest to fate.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Just another day

First thing the other morning,
While the tea was brewing hot,
I pondered upon a tiny wish,
Suppose right then I was in your thought!

Would your heart then skip a beat?
Or would I make you frown?
Could I make you cry a little,
And make your heart in sadness drown?

Would you wish within my fancy wish,
That I was somewhere near?
Counting the ways you miss me,
Hoping that I should still care?

The telephone rang, the tea was done
The wish just fizzled and the day went on...
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Life in shades of orange

From amidst the concrete sidewalk,
Peeps a tiny orange wild flower,
It knows it could get trampled,
Or get withered in the next shower.
Yet it decides to smile today,
And not think about tomorrow.
Life is short and I'll not live with regrets,
So from it this zest I borrow.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Emancipation

Behind this wise and stoic facade,
Lies a forlorn and foolish heart,
Day after day it keeps up this act,
Playing an almost perfect part.

Once not so very long ago,
It too had sighed, longed and pined,
There did exist love and laughter,
But back then the heart ruled the mind.

It had given away all it had,
Not thinking, not once looking back,
Drowning in this sweet surrender,
Had laid itself naked on the rack.

Today it still suffers, letting go memories so fond,
But lesson has been learnt, and wisdom has dawned.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

To the mystic river...

By the deep river blue,
While the world still lay sleeping,
Beyond a dark scarlet hue,
I stood there all alone,
Heartbroken and tired from crying,
A precious dream far far gone.

The sun stealthily rose,
With it's soft light spreading...
And the water touched my toes.
Then somewhere from up and high,
I felt a warm brightness reaching
The hope that was about to die.

It filled my life with wisdom rare,
To that mystic river I offer a prayer.
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Songbird

A wish is born.
But alas! The day is gone.
Did I wait too long?
To finally sing my song?
I hid it well, deep inside,
Where all the secret dreams reside,
Sheltering it from reality,
Polishing it to clarity.
It's ok. I'll wait another day,
To see sun's first golden ray.
With a missed heartbeat,
Bravely, I'll deliver this feat.
Tomorrow, I'll set my song free,
At a furtive count of three....
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Heartsong

Eons and eons back ,
In a place faraway ,
Past the seven seas ,
And behind the silver moon ,
Someplace beyond my reach ,
I had heard you croon .

Standing here this day ,
In a place known so well ,
Carrying a ravaged soul,
Burning in a searing pain .
Lost and desperately seeking ,
Your song again.

With your melody come once more ,
Rise, O rise, from my very core...
© 2008 Rituparna Das

Dorothy Parker

But Not Forgotten
I think, no matter where you stray,
That I shall go with you a way.
Though you may wander sweeter lands,
You will not soon forget my hands,
Nor yet the way I held my head,
Nor all the tremulous things I said.
You still will see me, small and white
And smiling, in the secret night,
And feel my arms about you when
The day comes fluttering back again.
I think, no matter where you be,
You'll hold me in your memory
And keep my image, there without me,
By telling later loves about me.

JRR Tolkien

I Sit and Think
I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall never see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.

Robert Frost

A Dream Pang
I had withdrawn in forest, and my song
Was swallowed up in leaves that blew alway;
And to the forest edge you came one day
(This was my dream) and looked and pondered long,
But did not enter, though the wish was strong:
You shook your pensive head as who should say,
‘I dare not—too far in his footsteps stray—
He must seek me would he undo the wrong.

Not far, but near, I stood and saw it all
Behind low boughs the trees let down outside;
And the sweet pang it cost me not to call
And tell you that I saw does still abide.
But ’tis not true that thus I dwelt aloof,
For the wood wakes, and you are here for proof.

A Question
A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.

John Donne

Confined Love
Some man unworthy to be possessor
Of old or new love, himself being false or weak,
Thought his pain and shame would be lesser
If on womankind he might his anger wreak,
And thence a law did grow,
One might but one man know;
But are other creatures so?

Are Sun, Moon, or Stars by law forbidden
To smile where they list, or lend away their light?
Are birds divorced, or are they chidden
If they leave their mate, or lie abroad a-night?
Beasts do no jointures lose
Though they new lovers choose,
But we are made worse than those.

Who e'er rigged fair ship to lie in harbours
And not to seek new lands, or not to deal withal?
Or built fair houses, set trees, and arbors,
Only to lock up, or else to let them fall?
Good is not good unless
A thousand it possess,
But dost waste with greediness.

The Broken Heart
He is stark mad, who ever says,
That he hath been in love an hour,
Yet not that love so soon decays,
But that it can ten in less space devour;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year ?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should say,
I saw a flask of powder burn a day ?

Ah, what trifle is a heart,
If once into Love’s hands it come!
All other griefs allow a part
To other griefs, and ask themselves but some,
They come to us, but us Love draws,
He swallows us, and never chaws:
By him, as by chain-shot, whole ranks do die,
He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.

If`twere not so, what did become
Of my heart, when I first saw thee ?
I brought a heart into the room,
But from the room, I carried non with me;
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thy heart to show
More pity unto me: but Love, alas,
At one first blow did shiver it as glass.

Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any place be empty quite,
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those pieces still, though they be not unite;
And now as broken glasses show
A hundred lesser faces, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,
But after one such love, can love no more.

"Maybe we set sights upon things that we know we cannot attain. It's just the romance of the longing for such things. :)"

Golden words again from this friend.....oh he is so good with words, I envy him. There are so few people I actually like, and some of them come closest to what could have been the idea of a soulmate(I read somewhere, a soulmate need not be a lover or a spouse). But then I am unfortunate and very very bad at maintaining easiness in a relationship. So alas.