The deity

I bang my head
Everyday
Against the invincible wall
Wish I could
Break a crack
And bring it crumbling down

Then,

The rest of my life
I would build a holy shrine
With each broken piece
Of the grand debris
Standing tall
One upon each

I would bathe it clean
In my tears
And spread the fragrance
Of a burning desire

Listen my deity
It's time to rise
Break the wall
And grace the shrine

Footloose

Losing your green
Freshly fallen
A messenger of sorts

I think the words
Foolish thoughts
For your journey to embark

I pick you up
Offering to the wind
To carry you forth and beyond

Turn yellow with passing time
Take my foolish words
Make them wise

Extend and deliver me
Before you rest
To the life a wanderer lives

With you in your journey
My thoughts will find wings
Free from my caged nest

Dispossessed

It slips away

Every time

I'm touched

I'm caressed

I give in

I drown

I'm shaken

I'm possessed

I gasp

Helpless

Speechless

Every time

Beyond grasp

Beautiful and pure

Untouched

By greed

By filth

By me

It slips away

Every time

I think I possess it.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The light

I have seen the light
Once again
Suspended
Between nothingness
And everything
Far and untouched
Near and engulfing
White and pure
The only pain
The only cure

I am burnt
Nonetheless.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Nirvana

The link is lost

The stirrings
Some strong
Some insignificant and small
Don't touch anymore

The sadness is gone
Eyes have run dry
The mighty mind

Has slayed the soul

The turmoil has been becalmed

Hopelessness has brought peace

In the end.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Freedom Aaj Kaal

A cheesy burp
With every beery gulp
The smoky ring
Of Dunhill
Oh this is life
I love the times
Nothing's a taboo
Everything's fine.

A few dead faces
Crying in despair
Silent, unheard
"This land
So rich with our blood
Flourishing and free
On it
Once again young
Wish we could be

If only
We could be!!!"

© 2009 Rituparna Das

14th August '47

The night sits tired
Heavy and black
Shackled in
Long battled fears
Raw hurt
And humiliation
Slimy
With young blood
Poor
And proud

Awaiting
The dawn

Of freedom.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The age-trap

Age devours me

Bit by bit

Every passing year

Wisdom nibbles at my spontaneity

Practiced discipline eats away

At the heart of truant pleasures.

They say to me

"But you are still so young"

And I think

Oh this brutal irony!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Lies

A clear blue sky

A shimmering green tree

White blossoms of spring

And a song set free.

I opened my eyes

They were all lies

A blazing blue pain

Gripping a garish green frog

A prince in white finery once

Croaked and cried for his lost tog.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The act

A dispersed crowd

The curtains drawn

We stand exhausted

Strangely becalmed

The pretense all gone.

The truth lies twisted

Together we stand alone

The love wiped off our faces

Awaiting another act

As the show must go on.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The rains-2

It rains

Night and day

Day and night

Sky and earth

Becoming one

It rains

Night and day

Day and night

The greens

The browns

All clean

All awashed

It rains

Night and day

Day and night

It soaks me wet

It stings my eyes

It rinses my soul

Of its deathly plight

So

It rains

On and on

Night and day

Day and night.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The summer

The cracked earth

The unquenched thirst

The blinding white heat

And the beastly lust!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The rains-1

From heaven

The teardrops fall from above and high,

As the sky heaves a trembling sigh,

From a trace of a pain ,

To an angst that's thick and dense,

Ceaselessly, see how darkly it rains,

O how it rains!

On earth

The wounds run deep,

The pain and angst stealthily seep,

As through the cracked earth the rain,

Through my tired veins,

My heart stains,

O how it stains!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Wasted

With you I have known,

Unbound happiness,

With you I have felt,

The deepest hurt,

With you my hopes,

Have lived and died,

With you,

I have found my dreams,

My world.

I don't know where,

I stand today,

And whether,

Your heart, has gone astray,

We have grown apart,

Over lost time,

My mind pushed

You away,

My thoughts,

Clutched you tight.

I have given up,

I have crumbled down,

I have seen the truth,

I have broken the rules,

Nothing helps,

Nothing calms,

So I accept,

I have no doubts,

I am wasted,

With you,

Or without.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The time-traveller

Down the lonely alleyways of time,

I have travelled long,

Hopeless and hopeful,

Until I saw you today,

Appearing across a lightyear,

Sitting unaware,

Beyond two sheets of impenetrable glass sheets,

On the other bus,

Besides mine,

Stopping by,

For a few earthly seconds.

My fruitless travel ended,

Only to watch you get lost,

Once again,

The only face I dearly sought,

In the lonely alleyways,

Of this city so well known,

For so long,

Hopeless and hopeful.

I sat rooted,

Paralyzed by tiredness,,

For the first time.

Incapable,

Of embarking on another timeless journey,

Who can tell,

Perhaps,

Of a lifetime.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Inspired by "An equal music" by Vikram Seth.

The bachelor

I am still standing here,

In comfortable aloneness,

Where the road takes a turn,

Towards infinity,

I had seen you disappear, there,

Round the corner of my youth.

I've tried looking back in vain,

I've tried moving ahead in vain,

This constant tug of war,

Once tore me apart,

The hazy past of frayed memories,

And a clean slate of a future without you,

My courage got stranded,

Somewhere,

Between either way,

In a sea of complacency.

So,

I'm still standing here,

In comfortable aloneness,

Where the road takes a turn,

Towards infinity.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Inspired by "An equal music" by Vikram Seth.

The unfaithful

I look at him and pretend,

That it's you that I see,

My heart misses a beat everytime,

I find his eyes on me.

I smile at him and pretend,

That I see your handsome face,

He doesn't have a dimple like you,

But I pretend, I see a trace.

I hear him speak,

And I shut my eyes,

Pretending it to be your voice,

Spewing as ever, beautiful lies.

I touch him each day,

Lying beside,

I pretend not to feel the pain,

As little by little I die inside.

He is so gentle,

He is so good,

He belongs to me,

As to him I should.

He says I am gentle,

He says I am good,

Then why are you not mine,

Like you should.

I am a great pretender,

Dragging him along with me,

I spin this dirty death web,

Unable to set him free.

I love you,

He is my life.

You be free instead,

Run away from this selfish strife.

Go, go afar,

Leave alone my troubled thoughts,

From this ugly web from today,

Let me begin undoing the knots.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

In mourning

I mourn the death

Of a non-existent lover,

Tugging at the heart strings,

Of a chest full of memories.

A certain look in your eyes,

Or was it just the truant light?

That secret smile,

Or was it always just a smirk?

Those silken words,

Wish I knew they were lies.

The longing,

The wait,

All so vivid,

So well imagined.

A dream remains a dream i guess,

So,

Ghost of a lover,

Goodbye.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The pub

Oh this thirst

For an evening

Spent with the ghosts

Dancing

The razzle

The dazzle

The music

The babble

1 2 3 shots

Dazed

There you go

A haze

This pain

A history

Those stranger eyes

My tomorrow

A mystery.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The quest

Go my friend,

See the world.

Soar high in the sky,

Burn yourself with the sun,

Drape the silver moon around,

And shine with the evening star.

Go my friend,

See the world.

Walk down the scorching desert,

Quenching your thirst for the unknown,

Endure the coldest night too,

Standing bravely with the mountain tall.

Go my friend,

See the world.

Sail with the furious waves,

In the high seas of a stormy noon,

Take a dip in the deep blue ocean,

Gathering timeless wisdom and wealth.

Go my friend,

See the world,

Become a star,

Strong,

And wise.

Search for all,

That you must know,

High up,

And deep below.

And that day,

When you finally find,

Your true self,

Come back,

Come to me,

In my arms to rest.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Age of innocence

You laugh at the silliest jokes,

jumping up and down with glee,

a butterfly, a pigeon chick, a candy

every time you see

In me a secret wish lures

my pursuit of happiness perhaps would
find an easy way out a little like yours

You cry now and then,

often without a reason

And stop the very next moment
as on your tinted field of vision

possibilities galore cast their spell
I wish my troubles would see the end

this constant struggle of heaven and hell

As I watch you sleep without a single frown

Over your tired brows
my dreams fade and the nightmare grows
Weary and restless everyday
each passing night I lie awake

wondering why and I wonder how
what more is there, what more will it take

And whenever a tiny shadow of fear

clouds your sweaty little face,

you come running in my arms

for shelter and some peace

I so wish for someone too every now and then

to hold my hand and stand by me

through either shine or rain

Don't get me wrong my baby,

I don't envy you,

I wish for you and I pray 
That with time you will stay

as untouched and innocent

Never to grow dark and cynical
like I have from years spent

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The promise

You asked me to write something,

A few lines for you today,

Believe me,

I tried,

Helplessly,

Hopelessly,

My old style being too obvious,

And my new one too obscure,

Wait my friend,

Until this storm inside, subsides,

Until my feelings strike a balance,

I'll write something for you,

I promise,

When,

I wish I knew.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Total recall

It's time,

I have to go,

Don't come in my way,

Please,

I really have to go.

My old life,

Calls me back,

Mundane and peaceful,

Boring and happy,

A circle of love,

Teardrops and smiles,

Just like it was,

Before the storm,

Before you came along.

Don't come in my way,

Please,

That's where I belong.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Untitled

I read a poem today,

Through teardrops,

And a tiny smile,

Lurking somewhere

Around the corner 

Of my consciousness.

You would have loved it,

I know,

Somehow.

Another cluster of moments,

Another web of emotions,

Another day,

My entire life,

Thus, 

Remains

Unshared with you,

Forever.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Futility

I know,

I realize,

The futility.

Yet,

The stunning red ball

Of a sun,

On a rare early morning of mine,

A yellow hazy moon,

On a starless cloudy night,

A brilliant rainbow,

Through the greys

Of an evening drizzle,

A poem,

A song,

A dream,

A moment,

I keep collecting,

For you,

For the time when we meet again.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Like a candle

I burn.

Each day,

Like a candle,

Slowly,

Weakly.

If you have noticed,

The residue burns long,

Steadily,

Before the fire dies,

All of a sudden,

Just like that.

I burn this way in your love,

Each day,

Like a candle,

Slowly,

Weakly.

Will my fate be so, too?

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Happy birthday cutie!

Hooray! Hooray!

My baby turns three today!

We'll get balloons for her,

Since we cannot get her a twinkling star!

She has asked for a nemo cake,

That the baker promised he can make.

She wants  a bicycle that's sturdy and tall,

She can ride it with her friends and all.

Her aunty has sent her a pretty princess dress,

That will lend a glow to her cute dimpled face.

In the evening we will have a great party,

All wishing her a life that's hale and hearty.

She will blow the candles with all her might,

In darkness may she always find a light.

She is our little princess and we love her so much,

She enchants our lives with her magic touch.

Thank you note

The end.

As you said.

I'll leave.

Before that,

Lest I forget,

Thank you,

For a lifetime of hurt.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Identity crisis

Someone asked my name today,

I fumbled,

I could only remember yours.

I search the mirror everyday,

For a glimpse of myself,

To find your face twinkling,

In my tired eyes.

At the end of the day,

When I set out for home,

I often find myself 

Beneath that gulmohar tree,

Mocking me with it's fiery red,

As it gently touches your window sill.

I try to relive all those days,

Spent with you,

In love,

In a daze,

But alas,

Where are they?

I stand knee deep here today,

Drowning,

Inch by inch,

Beyond rescue,

In a lifetime of hurt,

And in you.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Blissfully blind

I see the truth,

Clear and drab,

Bluish black,

Or blackish blue.

Sometimes even grey.

I'd rather be blind!

I dwell in pretension,

I prefer instead,

A vivid kaleidoscope,

Of perhaps,

Perhaps not,

I should,

Or should I?

Never sure,

Possibilities galore.

Ignorance,

Such bliss.

I'd rather be blind!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The misplaced parcel

The bundle was delivered,

The address was wrong,

To apprehensive receivers,

There was no joy, no song.

The wait was long, the other side,

The search was getting intense,

A silent cry for the lost parcel,

Lurked in the emptiness.

The one who dwells up above,

The sender, the mischief-maker,

Moved by the apparent plight of both sides,

Realized the joke has gone too far.

So he set out in full vigour,

To correct everything that went wrong,

He even sent down a few angels to help,

So that it doesn't take too long.

Everything fell into place after that,

And the rest is forgotten history,

I search my baby's eyes each day,

No mistakes, she's been sent just for me.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Afflictions

Conked brains,

Nothingness,

Blink,

Blank,

Black.

Chained heart,

Grown apart,

Crack,

Crush,

Cold.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Untitled-4

Sun drops and moon beams,

Fill my days and nights,

The rain doesn't play a spoiler, either,

Teardrops from heaven I say,

Crying myself dry. 

Oh romance and it's tomfoolery!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Untitled-3

I am at the edge of reasons,

I see you on the other side,

Do me a favour,

Please don't give me your hand.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Untitled-2

Love and it's misfortunes,

Such bittersweet intoxication.

I need a cure.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Untitled-1

I'll not love again,

Not after you.

Oh, this wait is endless.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Antithesis

This silence screams,

Speak,

Before I go deaf.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

To the unknown soldier

I walk amidst the flowers,

That bloom every spring,

The scented wind on my face,

And my eyes start to sting.

You walk amidst a shower,

Of bullets, every starless night,

Brave and tall you stand defending,

Everything that is right.

My nights here are neverending,

I count the stars and search the moon,

For a trace of your forgotten face,

Hopelessly hoping to see you soon.

You are fighting a secret war,

Your days are a hidden haze,

When will peace descend my soldier,

Over your troubled gaze?

We will hold hands then,

Laughing and crying together,

You will string flowers in my hair,

While I tickle you with a feather.

We will bury the bullets forever,

To grow white blossoms every spring,

Your gentle eyes would kiss my face,

And my eyes will start to sting.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Strangeness, thy name is love

The tears,

That were once so precious,

Are being laughed at today,

The lips,

That once showered tender kisses,

Wear a scorn everyday.

I have sealed my lips,

And shut my eyes,

Go find other victims.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Aspiration

While I secretly, painfully,

Guard your memories,

Every waking hour,

I envy your flaunting,

With such elegant ease, 

Two blank eyes,

Where I no longer reside.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The non-existent moiety

The you,

That resides deep in me,

I am fully possessed by it, now,

Finally.

For these days,

When I look in the mirror,

I see a ghost,

A nothingness,

As if I don't exist,

Not anymore.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

A joke

There's a joke in the air, lately,

It goes by the name of love,

I couldn't stop my tears from flowing,

While enjoying a hearty laugh!

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Deadly desire

In love,

I could easily kill,

And drown in a well of tears.

Only if,

I could kill myself,

To see your flow of tears.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Wasteful indulgence

Love,

Such waste,

Of sleep,

Of thoughts,

Of teardrops.

I indulge,

Yet.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Expiry date

Time lapsed,

Infinity,

As expected

You lasted,

Deep,

Unexpected.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

I do.

Tell me...

Before sleep begets you,
Every single night,
Do you sigh and imagine me,
Lying beside?

Before dawn when the sun still sleeps,
And you lay wide awake,
Do you ever breathe in the scented air,
Wishing you were in my dreams?

At the break of a busy day,

When you return home all alone,

Do you wish just for once,

That I'd open the door?

When the dark clouds gather,
Uncalled for, on a summer afternoon,
Do you wish I was holding your hand,
Soaking in the rain?

On a very warm sunny day,

As the heat dries up all senses,

Do you wish that I'd quench your thirst,

With a single furtive  kiss?

Alas,

These questions I'd never ask,

But I wish I could let you know,

If you ever asked me the same things,

I could only say, I do.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

April shower

A sudden cool gust,

On a parched April afternoon,

The gathering of darkness,

It rains ceaselessly,

Oh, with such abandon.

A sudden thought of you,

On a pre-occupied, busy day,

The gathering of darkness,

I cry again, again and again,

Oh, with such abandon.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Omnipresence

On an ordinary day,
Of pretense and lies,
Like a rain star,
In me you quietly rise.

Constant and hidden,
Beyond my will to resist,
Like the early morning moon,
In me you hazily persist.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The traits

The loser

You know I have tried,
All that was there,
I so foolishly thought,
Towards something,
My life I could veer.
I tried to write,
I tried to sing,
I tried to paint,
And even dancing.
But alas,
The arts and the delusion,
I earned a fancy name,
That of a loser.

The loner
I tried to be social,
Relations and ties,
Momentary joys
Beguiled by lies.
An urge to escape
This emotional rape.
I survived somehow,
This claim game,
In the process,
I earned another fancy name,
That of a loner.

The lover
So you tell me,
What should I do ,
I seem to be good at nothing,
Except,
Loving you.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Blur

A blur surrounds me,
Always,
A blur of thoughts,
A blur of words,
A blur of a face,
A blur of few days.

I function,
Neverthless,
Partially numb,
Consciously dumb,
Lost in the past,
Clinging to a love,
That didn't quite last.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The red balloon

Sitting in the park,
With a punctured heart,
Unable to cry,
Or even smile,
I bought a red balloon,
On impulse,
Not knowing why.

I saw an urchin boy,
With a smashed plastic toy,
Searching in it,
A lost childhood.
I gave the balloon to him,
In front of me he stood,
With an unexpected gift,
The glee on his face,
My mood started to lift.

I made a tiny wish,
Can atleast God,
Unlike my heart,
Make this balloon last,
A little longer,
Than it logically must.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The drunkard

The night was drunk,
The breeze fragrant,
Seduced by the yellow moon,
My desires ran vagrant.

I wanted to give in,
To the magic of the night,
But who would take me in,
With your memories clutched so tight?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Purgation

Last night,
At about half past three,
The full moon came by my window,
Just above the apple tree.

I bathed in its white,
And washed myself clean
Off my old blackened heart,
From that night of a scarlet sin.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Beholden

I have travelled far and near,
To the mountains and the sea,
I've seen the turbulent storms,
And danced with the rain, carefree.

I have burned in desire,
I have died in pain,
I have known all joys worth knowing,
The dark inner evils I have bravely slain.

I thought I have seen it all,
I thought my heart has bled enough,
I thought my life to be the cliched "half full",
Caught in the mundane, smooth and rough.

Then I found you.
My search began,
For that one thing,
Which was never in my plan.

I dared not want you,
I simply loved,
The dream of possession,
Never once occured.

But the feeling was hard to contain,
So strong, I could hardly breathe,
The joy and pain of it all,
In it my heart, I let gently seethe.

For you I can drown myself,
In the fathomless ocean of tears,
For you I can stand at the precipice,
Engulfing all my petty fears.

You are free, you are not mine,
Yet I cannot repay your debt to me,
Do you realize the gift you gave,
The eyes to see the I, that I could be.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The struggle

God knows I have tried hard,
To muffle the love songs
That the crickets sang,
Coming in millions and in throngs.

God knows I have tried hard,
To wipe the smile off the yellow moon,
Oh how it had cast a black magic,
And simply made the two of us swoon.

God knows I have tried hard,
With my silence, to drown your words,
They sliced through me all night long,
Like sharp tiny swords.

God knows I have tried hard,
To smother the raging fire,
I have seen your eyes burn with it,
Fanning in me a passion dire.

God knows I have tried hard,
To kill the love that turned me mad.
But alas...

The crickets still sing on,
The moon still smiles it's spell,
Your words still make me bleed,
Your look still turns me pale.

God knows I have tried hard,
For all these lost and past days,
To fade that silver first night,
With heavy shades of mundane grays.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

My God

I have seen you dance,
At the eye of a storm,
Raging mad,
An electric form.

I have heard you sing,
With the ocean waves,
A pounding beat,
Against the caves.

You have painted the sky,
With the northern lights,
And a silver moon,
On dark dreary nights.

Your poetry writ on every leaf,
Of all the yellow autumn trees,
Bestowed on the world beneath,
With the cool and gentle breeze.

I've never put my face in a storm,
I have never danced in any form.

I've never sailed on fiesty waves,
And sang a song in the abysmal caves.

My eyes burn in the purple lights,
I cannot paint on blinded nights.

I can only see the barren trees,
My poetry gets lost in the autumn breeze.

So I sit here today in wonderment,
Not knowing what I should do,
Why have you set your heart on me,
When I have to deny you?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The forest rain

I cried today,
Along with the forest rain,
After a decade or so,
Of a drought dried pain.

The angst, the bitter love,
I let it all go,
I could see the red of my heart ,
In a stream flow slow.

The lightness, the joy,
Ran through my veins,
I soaked in the green from around,
To cover up old stains.

The rain stopped, empty and spent,
Stealthily, as it had come,
Leaving behind a chilly wetness,
And heavy fragrance some.

Strangely again for no reason,
My heart gave a twisted lurch,
All the cleaning poorly failed,
The rain couldn't wash away your touch.

Like the wet earth, an aftermath,
Like the surging flash flood,
The crystal droplets on the leaves,
I sighed, you still linger in my blood.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Yaad....

Aaj phir se tum yaad aaye,
Is bhagadouri ke beech,
Aisehi,
Bewajah,
Jaise barsaat ke din,
Kabhi kabhi,
Galti se,
Sunheri dhoop nikal aati hai.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A snapshot

I chanced upon a pinhole,
Piercing through the dark,
Sleepless and searching,
At the middle of the night.
So I veiled myself,
With the heavy black sky,
And took a snapsot.
There was you,
There was light,
There was love,
There was joy,
And,
A silver teardrop.

A need to touch it,
To dip my fingers,
To feel the pain,
Deep down there,
But alas,
I realized soon,
It's frozen in time,
Lifeless
And distant,
In a way
Just like you.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The prostitute

I have lived for too long,
Much longer than my soul,
It's urge to live, once, was very strong,
Until, filth and pain took their cruel toll.

It lies hard, cold, white and dead,
In a body soft, red and warm,
The smiles, the tears, it has let them fade,
On the face of it's pretended calm.

There's a stolen wish, to come alive,
Breathing, longing, living for you,
But the blood, the hunger has to survive,
Would you find me a body new?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Blue is my corner

Blue is my corner,
Gray are my thoughts,
While, a red rose blooms somewhere,
This love quietly rots.

On the green green grass,
The rain falls softly,
While, my black hopeless heart
Aches on, as unceasingly.

On golden sundrops,
Floats white fluffy hopes,
While, buried in the dark blue corner,
My eyes still foolishly gropes.

Come red, come green and white,
Come golden, come everything bright
Take over, down and through,
My dark dark soul and mind,
Battered for so long, black and blue.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A dreamless song

I have come to know
Once
Sailing high on ocean waves
You had touched the blue horizon

I have come to know
Once
Down the sand and salt shores
You had walked a long long way

I have never been drenched
I have never fluttered in the sky
My eyes have never gazed on seagulls
Soaring high
With wings spread wide

When you leave again
For a dip in the sea
Take me along
Tell me you will
Take me far
You would, won't you?

I have come to know
You, you and you
Got together
The other day
A few unsolved puzzles
Some unsaid words
Got resolved
Having raised
Their stubborn heads

I don't know
Why I live a life
In the fast fast lanes
Just for one, just myself
Lonely
Without love
Peace eludes
Where do I search for it
Tell me where to

I have come to know
You still have a dream
Your pen still spews tales
Your song is unrestrained
You still stop to think
Who dies, who lives
Your love still blossoms
In a rose

So I have come to beg
My hands outstretched
My eyes thirsty
Carrying a faithless heart
In the deep dark hollowness
Of my sleep
I try
But cannot dream

My empty eyes
My sleepless nights
Long for one.
Tell me you will
Give me a dream
You would, won't you?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Log bhool jate hai,
Aisehi,
Ekdin achanak.

Mein kaun si duniya ki hun?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A question

People forget,
Just like that,
One fine day.

Which species
Do I belong to?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Don't change,
Not so much,
That when you call me,
My name sounds
Like that of a stranger's.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Zindagi badi tezee se to ja rahi thi,
Bas ek madmast shaam,
Bhul se dohraye gaye kuch purani baatein,
Kadam phir ladkhadane kyoun lage?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Itna bhi to na badlo,
Ki tumhare zubaan se nikla hua mera naam,
Kuch ajnabee sa lagne lage.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Ek badi lambi din thi woh,
Tumhare intezaar me,
Kuch chhote chhote din bhi,
Tumhare aas paas,
Khush raatein,
Andhere din,
Har lamha tumhare liye,
Meri adhi zindagi,
Mein,
Puri ki puri.
Aaj,
Dafna ke aayee hun.

Bhor ki is laali se,
Aaj ek kore din ki shuruwad hai,
Aao,
Naam likho,
Koi aayoge?

Bas aaj ke liye.
Kaun jaane,
Kaal, phir,
Kiske naam hogi.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The visitor

Moon,
Visit me sometimes,
On nights that I can't sleep,
I'll tell you stories,
Of his,
You would listen,
Won't you?

And on certain nights,
When sleep defeats me,
Go visit him,
Tell him,
He is in my dreams.
Won't you?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The cigarette

Green is the smile,
Blue is the soul,
Deep within this happy being,
Once, a cigarette had burnt a hole.

I have saved the butt,

From the ashes of my soul,

As every other poison fell short,

In filling up the hole.

I live, partly, choking, mostly,

As blue smoke clouds my soul,

Black breath feigns the greenest smile,

To cover up the stinky hole.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

1.
While ironing that shirt today,
I saved one tiny crease near the pocket,
From last winter.

2.
I saved a dream today from my afternoon nap,
For you,
For another lifetime.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Moving on

One never ending day,
Awaiting you,
A few short ones,
Spent in your arms,
Happy nights,
Dark days,
Each hour to your name,
Half my life, whole of me.
I put it away,
Put it under lock and key.

On this scarlet dawn,
I open a blank white day,
Come,
It's yours,
Write your name,
Whoever may.

Just for today,
Who knows,
Tomorrow,
Will go whose way?.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A request

We are together,
Close,
Hand in hand,
Always.

My smell on you,
Your scent on me,
A happy unison,
Never ending.
They envy.

Move a little love,
A little away,
I want to take in
Your fragrance,
Just yours,
Just this once.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Forgotten

The sky cried for me today,
While I stared,
Dry eyed,
Pretending not to care.
Not now anymore.

You are watching the rains,
Like me, right now,
I can sense it somehow.

We had spent an afternoon this way,
Long time back.
I am here,
Not with you,
Not now anymore.

Do you cry sometimes?
Alas.
Why do I even ask.
You don't pretend,
Not like me,
You don't care.
I can sense it somehow.
Not now anymore.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The passage

The teardrops ran free from my eyes,
Carrying a message for you,
I cried one, each single day,
To create a spring out of so few.

That spring cascaded down one day,
Riding on rapids white,
Reaching a frail rivulet,
Far away from my clouded sight.

This rivulet carried with all its strength,
In its thin ailing body,
The weight of my teardrops,
That had turned its water muddy.

The brave muddy rivulet,
Came to rest by a mighty river,
It gently unloaded my teardrops in it,
And collapsed with a shiver.

The pious river, wide and deep,
Embraced the teardrops to its core,
They rested from their travel long,
While the river filled them, with wisdom's lore.

The river bade goodbye,
At the delta of the blue bay,
The teardrops eagerly took the plunge,
Rehearsing the lines they'd have to say.

You sat on the shore, carefree, not knowing,
The teardrops by the waves were thrust,
Completing a journey so arduous,
Spent, they lay at your feet atlast.

You picked up a handful of salty mush,
The sand settled, the words slipping away,
The teardrops got lost forever,
In the heart of the abysmal blue bay.

You didn't come, not ever,
You never got to know,
I still cry a silent pain, but with tears no more,
I've let my eyes dry up, with no place to go.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The light

I stood tiptoed,
Stretching out my hand,
I reached for the moon,
Only, if I had a magic wand!

I was stuck at the crossroads,
Of my drab, deserted life,
I was in love with the moon,
When black emptiness was rife.

I begged for a moondrop,
I was barren and parched,
With a straight face the moon stared back,
Desperately, it's eyes I searched.

I longed and pined so,
Without respite, night after night,
I gave up, I lit a candle instead,
But there was never enough light.

The heartless moon left me for a cloud,
That lightless night, a lost traveller came my way,
I sheltered his fears with my own emptiness,
He decided to stay.

Now we both share our teardrops,
No longer for the moon I cry,
We just have two candles between us,
But strangely, the dimness satisfy.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Threesome

The moon

I have walked across the moonbeams,
I have talked to the moon,
I have traced it's rugged face,
I have stood and cried at it's lune.

It's been my only friend,
Since times once upon,
On all my dark starless nights,
It has gently shone.

The others

They have left me waiting,
Each and every one of them,
For a chance to strike a score,
As if life's a little game.

I have failed them all,
I have drove them away,
They have cried for me,
Some still pray.

The lunatic

I am a lunatic, I don't care,
I am happy with my moon,
I'll dance my askew moves forever,
Keeping to it's tune.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The magic bead

A little corner in my dreams,
Dark and full of fears unknown,
Cut off from any rays of hope,
It cries and frets all alone.

Black, blue, and grey shadows
In and out they slither, and lurk,
Tired and broke, and about to give up,
It found one day a pearl in the dark.

This little gem in all its splendour,
Luminous and pure it shone so bright,
A speck of dust that grew so lovely,
The corner kept it clutched so tight.

This tiny bead of hope and joy,
Grew and flourished in this ruin,
The corner sighed, a smile escaped,
What if one day, it becomes a full moon?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Kaleidoscope

Red, green, yellow...
A few more colours too,
Smeared on my face,
To my hands even,
Lending their brilliance,
Why is then my soul,
So blue?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Zindagi itni to asaan ho ki,
Karwee dawa samajh ke pi sakun...
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The rainbow

The azure blue sky,
Lost its colour,
Stroke by stroke,
Cloud by cloud,
The sky and I,
Helplessly calm,
Let the joy die,
Colourless and black,
Hopeless and sad,
Both of us broke down.
Finally.

Finally,
The darkness lost,
The colours emerged,
Victorious and proud,
We smiled,
The sky and I,
We welcomed home,
The seven knights,
Riding high, on golden rays,
From someplace else,
Beyond sun's abode.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Light and shadow

I have seen your shadow,
A thousand times,
At the edge of my sleep,
Night after night,
Dream after dream,
Beyond my touch,
Above my reach.

You emerged to light,
One day,
Like the sun does,
From behind the clouds,
You called my name,
Again and again,
But I couldn't respond.

The light is gone
I grope in the dark,
Now it's me,
Who calls you back,
But you have left,
Hurt and injured,
While I writhe in pain,
Misunderstood.

Sleep

Go sleep,
While I sit beside you,
In vigil,
Wiping away
Every little frown,
From your tired brows.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Don't go...

Don't leave,
Not now,
Not until I beg you to stay.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Dev D

Just finished watching Dev D....oh wow....loved, absolutely loved every bit of it.....so sleek, so stylish, so real...Abhay Deol....very cool guy....The two girls...absolutely fresh and original.

Anurag Kashyap...Jai ho man!

Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Karan Johar...that brigade of movie makers...so damn passe!

Lovestruck

The two pigeons,
On my windowsill,
Sat coochie cooing,
Forever,
As I busied myself,
Tearing up old letters,
And photographs,
Of yours.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The rose

The once dewy rose bud,
That you had given me,
A year or two back,
Left to dry,
Pressed between the pages,
Of that book of poetry,
I found it today,
It has bloomed.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Mockery

The uncorked wine bottle,
Mocked me with it's fullness,
It was pregnant with sweet poison,
Even if for a little while,
My barren eyes, whereas,
Couldn't even boast of a single teardrop.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The end

I was quite happy,
Until I met you this evening,
The hopelessness of the hope,
Of seeing you one day,
That is even lost, tell me,
What do I live for now?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Lost and found

I lost my pen today,
Having written your name,
A thousand and one times with it,
Worn and tired,
It must have escaped,
Instead, to find you in person.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Sighting

When do I see you again?
Sometime in infinity?
Or tonight,
In my dreams?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The totem

I have saved a teardrop,
As a totem of a love,
That was once there,
In your eyes.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The rains

The rains came early
This year,
On a sweltering afternoon,
Unprecedented,
At the oddest of times,
When I was cleaning
My wardrobe,
And found,
A blue and grey,
Striped shirt,
Yours,
Left behind
At springtime,
Last year.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The night

A certain night,
From long lost times,
Visits me,
On every other night,
And spreads a silver glow,
Borrowed by my eyes,
From it's brilliant halo.

The sun comes up,
Everyday,
Wrapped in gold and ruby rays,
But strangely, again,
The darkness rises,
From somewhere unknown.
Blackens this poor old soul.

So I wait and wait,
Day after day,
For the hours to pass,
And the sun to rest,
The night time brings,
Such liquid dreams,
Oh I wish, they'd last.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The name

Yesterday,
I dug up an old
Diary,
And found
Your name,
Within it's frayed,
Yellow pages,
Written with a long lost,
Beloved pen,
A nervous eagerness
To utter it,
Just once,
Again,
Made me slur a bit,
And it slipped off my lips.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Forgive me Gulzar saab.

Kal ek purani kitab mein,
Purane ek kalam se likha,
Tumhara naam mila tha,
Jaisehi mere zuban,
Use ekbar dohrane ki zurrat ki,
Halke se,
Woh kahin sarak gira.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

(the thought has been expressed, my hindi is pathetic, anybody who can suggest better words...please do)

Death

A tree trunk,
Chopped roundly,
At the middle,
Cruelly left unfinished,
Stands tall,
Waiting to fall,
But when?
Death does come,
Predictably,
Yet, ever, sudden.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

An attempt at Gulzarian poetry:)

Ek bhuli bisri raat,
Mere har raat mein shamil rehke,
Ujala bikherti hai,
Shubhe hotehi,
Jaane kahanse,
Phirse, andhera chhaa jata hai.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Carelessly yours

A twinkle from your eyes,
A dimple from your smile,
A firefly from your touch,
A pearl from your words,
I saved them all,
From time unknown,
To be locked up safe,
Someplace untold,
Then I let time slip by,
Not stopping to rest,
When I finally peeked in,
Everything had perished.

Now I cry,
Now I fret,
Now I search,
Now I beg,
The eyes look away,
The smile is gone,
You don't hold my hand,
And the words fall short.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

In memory of my old computer

(Which I got rid off, today, in exchange of a black, swanky, slim, widescreened monitor and the entire set in black).

Goodbye my friend.

You have taken my pounding,
Silently,
For eight long years.
You've been loyal to me on nights,
That I was vaguely disloyal myself.
Almost until on the verge of crashing down,
You've carried the load of my memories.
You've been the window,
That opened my otherwise closed life.
You've given me everything you had.
So thank you from my heart.

But I am selfish you know,
Like everyone else,
I've found someone who's better looking,
And I can hardly pretend.

Life goes on, you see,
You'd move on too,
And forgive me for this treachery,
Like always,
I've full faith in you.

Thought of the day

All day long,
I concentrated hard,
Not to let my mind wander,
To thoughts of yours.

At the end of the day,
When I tried summarizing
My thoughts,
All that came to my mind,
Was of yours.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The soulmate

A grey feather
Flew in from nowhere,
Settling cozily on my shoulder,
Spent,
As though,
It's search has ended,
For a soulmate,
Atlast,
Having found me,
Equally plain,
Lonely,
And out of place.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Stars

One, two, three...
Four hundred two...
In this futile attempt
At counting the stars,
I lost count,
Of a myriad of ailments,
That hold my mind
In constant hostage,
For a few good hours.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Eraser

After you left,
I changed the sheets
Of the bed,
You slept on.
One simple act,
Erasing all signs
Of your presence,
So deftly,
As if you never came.

Only, if I could change,
Something about my heart,
As cleverly,
To return in time,
When I didn't know you,
And life was simpler.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The bonsai

I watched fascinated.
The bonsai orange tree
At the exhibition,
Flaunting
Glossy green leaves,
And enticingly juicy fruits,
Stunted,
Yet so complete.
As if it's dwarfed perfection
taunting,
My full grown life
With its branches of thoughts,
And wishes,
Pruned systematically,
Everyday.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The journey

The narrow road
Winding up, ambitiously,
Towards the misty blue hills,
Perhaps, I imagined,
Torn between a longing
To get lost,
Somewhere between
Existence, and the sublime.
I wondered,
For a while,
Are all life's journeys
As promiscuous,
Yet exciting,
As tedious,
Yet inescapable,
Who awaits me
With open arms,
At the end?
© 2009 Rituparna Das