Reflection

A distracted flip
Through a travel journal,
Halted my thoughts
On a photograph.
A multi-hued evening sky,
And lofty branches of a few trees,
Reflected on an otherwise
Placid puddle of water,
Only to be ruffled gently,
By one fallen leaf.
Almost like an afterthought.

As if, portrait of my entire being,
Complete,
In one single print.

Behind the anonymity
Of the photographer,
I sensed an uncanny familiarity.
Do I know this person?
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The web

Each passing moment,
Exaggerates into an impatient wait
To get caught,
In this daily, unreal entanglement.
You exist somewhere,
Far from reality,
Yet not a dream.
Beyond touch,
Faceless.
Toneless.

Our expectant fingers,
Very deftly, each day,
Weave a gossamer web
Of words.
Significant.
Irrelevant.
Harsh.
Silken.
We click,
And connect well.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A game of monopoly

When the mind tries reasoning,
The heart doesn't comply.
As the mouth manages a few words
Of feigned nonchalance
The eyes betray in sly!

In this multidimensional game
Of communication with you,
I am often left to ponder...
What part of my anatomy
Would finally win
And exert monopoly I wonder!
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Blue inebriation

I sat for a long time,
Gazing intensely
At the flickering,
Blue fairy lights,
As if moving in and out,
Of an illusion,
Consisting of myriad
Dreams and happenings.
I got caught,
In a magic spell,
Cast on me,
By the memories
Of a long back love.
I sat rooted,
Almost believing,
That if I moved,
Or batted my eyelashes,
The blue light fairies
Would vanish,
Taking with them,
The dull residual longing,
That they managed to sharpen
Into tiny pin pricks right then.
Yet I sat hypnotized,
Incapable of another thought.

I heard my name,
In a familiar voice,
Suspended somewhere.
In the blue light zone?
Or a second later,
In the dark intermission?
I could hardly tell,
I didn't care.

Am I going crazy?
I shut my eyes, on impulse.
I broke the spell.
I was parched,
My glass was empty I noticed,
I needed a refill.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Perfection

You are perfect.
And some more too.
Everytime I think about you,
It further wrecks my hopeless heart.
Remember the other day,
When we were sipping coffee,
I said something stupid,
And you smiled,
A dimpled one I realized,
It had escaped my stolen scrutiny.
I couldn't help, but laugh
At my broken fate,
Couldn't God,
Have atleast spared me this.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A good start

Rushing through
The morning ritual,
A scalded mouth,
From sipping
A predictably steaming cuppa,
A customery flip
Through the headlines,
The mind buzzing
With hundred and one things-to-do.
A favourite song,
On the neighbours radio.
For the time being,
Let me just resign to
Thinking about you.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Procrastination

Defeating the strong urge
Of a post lunch,
Warm nap,
On a winter, Sunday afternoon,
I finally took up,
A long pending clean up job,
Of my disarrayed bookshelf,
A possession dearly prized.
The collection is good,
I am often smug,
I love showing off
To my not so well read friends.

It's going pretty good.
Top shelf for referrals,
Seldom used.
Next shelf, eye level,
Well worn, much read,
Favourite ones.
Should I mix up
Fiction and nons,
Poetry and prose?
Well why not,
This is not a public library,
Afterall.

Oh that book!
It's still there?
Where was it all these years?
A name written on it,
In a bold, matured scribble.
I had traded this with you,
For a precious album of the Beatles.
Or was it Pat Boone?
I flipped through it,
A smile, a sigh,
A teardrop even escaped.
I stared at the ceiling fan,
Drowned in a pile of old books,
And some frayed memories.

It's already evening,
I had promised to meet a friend.
I'll get this done,
Perhaps, another Sunday afternoon.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A lazy thought

A lonely night,

Spent in the forest,
Where the land shone,

With a silvery hue,

Along with,
A billion and more,

Twinkling diamonds,
And a spotted, yellow,
Quarter eaten moon,

A cool breeze
Rustled guiltily,

Through the bamboo groves,
Creatures wild and unknown,
Somewhere far roared.
Staring at nothing,
I contemplated, lazily,
My life is perfect.

Well almost.
You are sometimes missed,

Though.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A reminder to self

It took me some time,
To learn something,
Nothing lasts forever,
No one will stop for me,
Tighter I try to clasp things,
More sadness it brings.

It's better that I move on,
And not look back,
Difficult it seems today,
But that's what wise men have taught,
I know, time heals and numbs,
Hope always overcomes.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The sapphire butterfly

A sapphire blue butterfly
In the park,
Fleeted from this flower
To that,
It caught the attention
Of a pony tailed girl,
She stopped running around,
Stood still and watched.
The butterfly fleeted about
With it's brightly coloured wings,
The girl gazed mesmerised,
For a few minutes.
The child in her
Stirred to life,
She tried catching it,
The butterfly fluttered
And went out of sight.
A flicker of regret
Shadowed the girls face,
Perhaps for a few seconds.

She was a child after all,
She ran after the ball.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The search

The rain lashed on,
The thunder roared,
I sat with a book,
Having not read a word.

My mind drifted backwards,
To a time once known,
I saw myself wandering,
Amidst a faceless crowd alone.

I searched for something,
It was a grey stormy day,
Yet, the need to find was so strong,
I wanted to stay.

I tried to remember,
What I was looking for,
The harder I tried,
The search became more obscure.

The crowd started closing in,
I had no place to run,
I scanned carefully,
Each faceless person.

It was frustrating,
As I knew somehow, from somewhere,
I have lost that one thing, forever,
That I was so desperately looking for.

Snapshots of another time,
Mingled with the present state,
Always surrounded by faces known,
Barring the one I've let myself forget.

The thunder roared,
I sat up with a jolt,
Your memories came flooding,
From someplace long locked.

It was so long ago,
I couldn't remember your face,
The hurt still exists, deep down,
May be a little less.

We had watched the rain together,
On such a dark afternoon,
Your faceless memory still lingers,
Though you are long, long gone.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Lost forever

I was walking
Round and round,
On the wooded path ,
That circled
The serene pond,
Dotted with lotus buds.
As if in a trance ,
Lost in the woods ,
I knew the way out ,
But still couldn't.
I was tired ,
A little anxious too,
It was getting late,
And I needed to go,
No one was around,
None to help ,
I started crying ,
At some point.
Then I saw you,
Quietly smiling ,
As if my situation,
Was somewhat funny.
I was angry ,
Still I begged ,
I wanted a way out,
I explained.
You gave a hand ,
I didn't think twice ,
You simply stood there ,
Holding it tight.
I looked at you ,
A little surprised ,
You smiled and said ,
That I belonged here.
It's not easy,
It's mostly dark,
But I'll have lotuses from the pond,
The sky will be vast,
The birds will sing,
I'll be kept warm,
With your arms around me ,
On every night.
If I ever,
Find another way out ,
That is the day ,
You'd leave my side.
I understood ,
And I sighed,
Like a fool ,
I had searched everywhere .
I held you close ,
And solemnly vowed ,
I have chosen my path ,
And don't want a way out.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Three balconies

A balcony,
By the riverside,
On a dark winter night,
A starlit sky,
To keep us company ,
We mostly kept quiet,
The song of the crickets ,
Made up for it ,
As if they understood,
What's on our minds.

Another balcony,
By the sea ,
The night was cloudy,
We were silent, mostly,
A hazy moon appeared
Out of nowhere,
The sea loudly roared in response,
As if trying to convey,
What our mute hearts,
Could not.

This balcony,
Of my house,
Where every single night,
I stand alone,
Be it starlit, be it cloudy,
I always remain quiet,
I look for a messenger,
Who would decode
My silence,
And have it delivered.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

This day, that year

The date is same,
The morning as cold,
But a year has passed,
With memories worth gold.

I forgot to treasure,
Moments that got lost,
I didn't realize,
Until I paid the cost.

It's too late now,
Nothing can be done,
Never take things for granted,
Is a lesson, I did learn.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

My angel

Things didn't come easy,
But I cannot deny,
I reached a stage in life,
When I was satisfied.
My dreams were always small,
Nothing impossible,
So I never thought,
There could be a problem.
I wanted a good husband,
Mine was great,
I wanted a house,
Mine was perfect.
I wanted a baby,
Like every other girl,
But then I realized,
My life couldn't be this simple.
One night I dreamt,
Of a tiny little one,
With curly hair,
And a broad toothless smile.
My arms were empty,
My eyes almost ran dry,
I had everything,
But no one to call mine.
On one ordinary day,
A miracle happened,
The gloom just lifted,
And I found my way.
A voice within me ,
Guided me through,
Said I'll be a mother,
Nobody can stop me to.
It's upto me it said,
I can make it happen.
I couldn't wait any longer,
And followed it as if dazed.
It was so easy,
There she was,
My little girl,
Waiting for us .
A tiny little bundle,
Sent for me and no one,
With curly hair,
And a broad toothless smile,
Looking for me,
To be held forever.
I opened my heart,
I opened my arms,
She filled my life, with joy, and laughter.
She is here,
She is real,
May all forces above, bless her.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A fairytale

He was a blue eyed stranger,
From a far distant land,
His skin was milky white,
And I was a coffee coloured girl.
I willingly let him steal,
My foolish young heart.
He was a much older man,
But had a certain boyish charm,
I was treated like a princess always,
He was tender and kind.
One day he looked at me,
And said I've got pretty eyes,
As if to prove it,
He looked at the moon in the sky,
My teenaged heart fluttered madly,
And how I almost cried.
Both of us knew very well,
That this will go nowhere,
He has to leave one day,
That too for good.
So we spent as much time together,
And tried not to brood.
That day finally arrived,
And he had to say goodbye,
I remember how we both cried,
And then I carried on,
For many more nights to come.
His memories slowly faded away,
But he will always be a special one.
That was a chapter in a fairytale,
I luckily chanced upon.
He is visiting my thoughts again,
After so many long forgotten years.
Does he still remember me,
I just noticed,
My heart still wonders.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Love

I had a cat once ,
Seems, not so long ago,
She's gone now,
And I miss her so.
She was mostly white,
With patches of brown and black,
Had the most greenest eyes,
Curiousity, it didn't lack.
I still remember,
How her tiny pink nose,
Nuzzled against me,
In mornings as I rose.
There were also times,
When she viciously scratched me,
How easily I forgave,
And let her be.
I was blindly in love ,
And I let her rule ,
She was my baby ,
But I never felt like a fool.
I never doubted her love,
She was always there,
The deep bond that we shared,
Even, lost time could not sever.
This love was so simple,
There were no expectations,
We were there for each other,
Never looking for reasons.
It seemed stupid to most people,
I was mostly laughed at,
But she was my dearest mate,
Inspite of all that.
I have loved humans too,
They always fell short,
The joy of being loved back,
Only this little kitty taught.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The lost world

Long time ago,
Back when I was still a child,
The sky was then limitless,
And the trees a little more green.
I often wandered barefoot,
Without so much care.
That the grass smells different,
At the wee hours of the night,
It was then that I learnt this ,
And I still remember.
How the first raindrop of the season,
Tastes a bit like rust,
I used to wait every year,
It still lingers in my blood.
The smell of sunlight,
On a winter afternoon,
How I hugged it close to me,
And buried my nose,
In the sundried, clean, crisp,
Freshly washed clothes.
I had my troubles then,
As life is always tough,
But nature took over it all,
And made them seem alright.
I live in a city now,
And quite like it so ,
But my sky has become smaller,
And trees have a greyish coat,
Sunlight is still as bright,
But it has no fragrance ,
It still rains as you know,
But my tastes have changed,
My troubles have become larger,
Than the city itself.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The decision

I am too old now ,
I don't really need this ,
My heart didn't obey ,
And lost its peace.

I am too old now ,
But it's not too late ,
This soul can still be salvaged,
From a doomed fate.

I am too old now ,
But I'll not give up,
Today is a new beginning ,
On failures, I'll not harp.

I am too old now ,
And I'll take a little longer ,
To soak in the wisdom ,
To become a little stronger.

I am too old now ,
And I know the time has come,
I 'll have to decide today ,
What I want my life to become.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Life

There's a tiny speck of hope,
That's still buried deep within me,
It sustains me from day to day,
And helps me to see,

That there's a brighter side,
To everything dark and sinister,
However impossible it seems today,
Things will someday get easier.

I hold on tightly to this idea,
And let myself believe,
One day I'll gather all the sweetness,
Having passed through this life size sieve.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

The key

Is there a potion,
That eases a heartache,
Please someone tell me,
How to mend this wreck.

I am desperate you know,
I can hardly breathe,
This pain is choking me,
Dark troubles inside me seethe.

I want to recover,
But don't want to forget,
Oh what dilemma this is,
I suffer yet don't regret.

It might seem I'm enjoying this pain,
That's slowly ruining me,
How can I tell anyone,
Only you possess the key,

To my heart and soul,
And all my happiness.
Now that you have lost the key,
I'm doomed for life, well, more or less.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

Mind games

Wish I was a mind reader
With a fine acumen,
Then I would read yours
But ignorance feign.

I would play games then
As you always do,
You'd try hard to please me
And I'd look through.
© 2009 Rituparna Das

A special day

On such few days,
Which are so rare and special,
Lost in the crowd,
Of known and not so dear people,
I feel I am alone,
Like a aimless driftwood,
Bobbing in the sea of vagueness,
of should I, or I should.
This guessing game is killing me.
You have never tried to hide,
I have seen it in your eyes, or have I?
I don't ask, and let my pride,
Supersede a love,
That's slowly turning me mad,
Yet, I want so little,
And that's what makes me so sad,
All I wanted was to see you,
I am denied that privilege,
Who knows why, for what fault of mine,
A trapped bird, this life a cage,
Every tiny particle,
Conspiring against me,
I've resigned to the fact,
I'm not meant to be free.
There is no love, perhaps,
This idea is just an illusion,
So on this special day,
I am wishing for a blinded vision,
I don't want to dream, set me free,
I don't want to dream, let me be.
© 2009 Rituparna Das