Finally....I feel really really good today. Went over to a friend's place for lunch...had a nice long soul searching:) chat. Cutie had a good time too...vandalizing mama's friend's(whom she thinks to be her own)house. Thank god that I share a very informal and easy relationship with this person, otherwise cutie's activities would have embarassed me to no end.

Today is my sis-in-laws b'day. They live in UK, my brother has taken her to Spain....they have rented an apartment by the sea in some quaint little coastal town for a week. Sounds blissful...they even cook dinner at home. She just lost her mother...this break was badly needed....may she and my brother have a happy life, always.

I was just thinking...courtesy cutie, I have watched just too many animation movies lately, to name a few:-
Happy Feet
Cars
Finding Nemo
Shrek 1
Shrek 2
Shrek 3
Kung Fu Panda
Ice Age
Wall-E
Madagascar
Phew! That's really something, given that I never used to consider animation movies to be worth watching. I actually loved most of them. I had to watch them for about 10 times. Minimum. Each.

Rock On

Last night we finally did watch ROCK ON. It was a sudden plan, first postponed, then preponed. Long live indecisive girls! Long live impulsive girls! What a movie it is. Worth every penny, worth all the wait. Long haired, guitar strumming Arjun Rampal....ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy goooooood!!! And this Farhan Akhtar guy, so damn impressive....very very goodlooking, good director, good actor, damn damn damn good singer. He is a rockstar...no faking here...he has sung all the songs himself. The movie was so perfect....no drama, no filmibazi...superb actors...sleek and just right. A good hindi movie after a long time.

Dreamers discretion denied.

Last night I was sleeping well.
That is until you barged in
My dreams and trampled my calm.
You smiled like you do, sunshine!
I was happy, and so I cried.
Fact from fiction I couldn't tell.

Which one is better? I hardly know.
Strangely, you were as elusive.
My reverie even you didn't spare.
You could've atleast pretended,
It was just a dream for God's sake.
Point taken. Well then.Let it be so.

Another cheap attempt at love pervaded poetry writing!

Nightout cancelled. Rather postponed to 1st night. It's ok, was not feeling well anyways. This is taking too long, when will I recover fully. I cooked today:)....Bhapa Chingri...mustard and coconut steamed prawns. Came out really well, this is one dish I have become quite adept at. Never goes wrong. Basically a eventless lazy saturday...nice to have such days sometimes, three of us just hanging out and not doing much:). Cutie is just happy to be around both mama and papa....Cutie and I watched Living Free, sequel to Born Free together. She loves to watch animal movies, got all excited, even started licking me at some point(the lion cubs were doing so)! But sadly all through the movie cutie kept shouting "baby tiger, baby tiger" inspite of correcting her on many occasions:)!!!

Acceptance.

Days pass by.
I've got used to
The void inside.
I no longer cry.

Where are you?
Shielded in pretense,
Hiding behind work?
Mind giving a cue?

Inspite of trying,
You know something?
I still miss you.
I don't like lying.

Would you ever admit?
Don't. Just be happy.
I'll understand u know,
This act of remit.
(Not sure about the meaning of this word 'remit'...still in doubt as whether it fits here, whether it signifies the right meaning....another option to the last line "This denial to submit."

Just like that

A friend came over for lunch today. We watched Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa over a sumptuous meal of alu parathas, chhole and boondi raita. Must admit that it was a fairly decent start to the weekend after a sickness induced depressing hiatus! Also the girls are planning for another night out for tomorrow...this time determined to watch Rock On, big time. Not bad, not bad. Durga puja is round the corner, looking forward to it....mostly because of the socialising factor. Yeah yeah, sometimes this antisocial element craves for human company too....contradictions personified. I amaze myself at times.

About the movie...cute guy, cuter girl, not so grand film, or rather cute movie too, only I am much grown up for it now.

Oh I am so happy...no reason at all. Just the weather you know...cool and crisp. Feel like going away for a trip somewhere with similar weather conditions....no tension, no worries. Cutie started her first vacation(ever!) today onwards. Cutie is cute most of the times, a shrew sometimes:)! Gotta find a way to calm her down, or else I'll go hoarse and crazy shouting at her. Motherhood doesn't come easy to impatient people! Learning, learning...will reach there someday...have belief, will do it.

I am tired of sitting at home and popping pills three times a day! Why is this taking so long....I want to get better. It takes toll on your mental and emotional health. People don't help, they make it worse for you. I just want to get going and do my usual stuff.....only if I felt better:(. Some people are so self absorbed, they hardly care, they will never do the simplest thing to make someone feel better...to hell with them!

Some of my favourite songs again....I cannot help it...I hardly have anything better to do right now...
Khamaj By Pakistani Band Fuzon


Tere Bina - Fuzon live


Tere Bin -ATIF ASLAM
Very cute guy with very inconsistent singing style....but some turned out to be gems no doubt.


Meri Kahani - ATIF ASLAM


Bol Na Halke Halke - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan


Mann ki lagan - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan


Rahat Fateh Ali Khan - Jiya Dhadak Dhadak Jaye


Strings - Sar kiye ye pahar
Never fails to make me nostalgic....the next song too...


Strings - Duur


Saaiyaan-Kailash Kher
This song takes me to another world. It makes me want to believe in the kind of love that is so intense, so deep....so complete...I don't have words to express the kind of feeling I get when I listen to this particular song. I'll still give it a shot....it makes me feel as if I am standing at a precipice, and I don't care, I can easily die for the person I love. But who deserves such kinda love, and I am not even capable of such loving.What a waste.....but this song has a spiritual quality...


Baawra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Mohit Chauhan

I absolutely love this guy. He is the lead vocalist in the band SILKROUTE. Lately singing a lot of singles....and jingles....
Guncha Koi


Sabse Peeche Hum Khade


Silkroute-Humsafar


Silk Route - Dooba Dooba
This is their first video, and I have been in love with this guy since then....who says I am not a loyal person...the deserving ones surely get it!


Boondein By Mohit Chauhan


Tum Se Hi - Jab We Met-By Mohit
Chauhan


Kismat Konnection - Is This Love - Kahin Na Laage-By Mohit Chauhan

Dido-White Flag


Lyrics-White Flag
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Beatles-I'm Looking Through You


Beatles-I'm Looking Through You-Lyrics
I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Your lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear
You don't sound different, I've learned the game.
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

You're thinking of me, the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you're down there
I'm looking through you, and you're nowhere

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Yeah! Oh baby you changed!
Aah! I'm looking through you!
Yeah! I'm looking through you!
You changed, you changed, you changed!

Glen Hansard-Say It To Me Now


Lyrics-Say It To Me Now
I'm scratching at the surface now
And I'm trying hard to work it out
So much has gone misunderstood
This mystery only leads to doubt
And I didn't understand
When you reached out to take my hand
And if you have something to say
You'd better say it now

Cause this is what you've waited for
Your chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause this is what you've waited for
A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause I'm picking up a message Lord
And I'm closer than I've ever been before

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now
Say it to me now
Say it to me now

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova Live at
Sundance!

(Not so) Short summary of sickness

I have not been this sick in a very very long time......a raptured eardrum(can u beat it!), fever, acute sinusitis, throat infection....what not! Such a eeky condition. Seems like it will stay this way for sometime longer, it's already been more than a week now. I have never in my life taken so many medicines, and it has been prescribed for 11 long days, with 7 days of high dose antibiotics. Doc asked me to eat well....I have lost my sense of smell since about last 6 days, everything tastes bitter, I could as well eat a pair of leather shoes and not even know! Eat well...huh! To top that, I was to give some blood samples last evening, a proper vein couldn't be found(I have this problem, but never takes this long), it took the nurse more than 10 minutes to draw blood from an appropriate vein. What's wrong with me! Now I have to see a ENT specialist too, tomorrow. Hope I don't go deaf in one ear...ha ha, I am now though. Read up in the internet...it takes about 2 weeks for a new eardrum to grow back....2 weeks of deafness...cool! One good thing about this entire episode, hubby is at home on leave taking care of me:).

My doctor deserves a mention here. After taking one look at my ear all he could say at first was OH!. Then he asked me how bad the pain was, I said terrible, ha asked me why I didn't call him when I was in so much of pain, I replied because it was in the middle of the night, and then he said the sweetest thing, he said "sometimes you should exercise your liberty to disturb me, the doctor, at the middle of the night, that's my job". We were very touched by this gesture, this statement seems so special and surprising because we in general have lost faith in the goodness of people. Such people help us restore faith in the human species.


An afterthought A couple of weeks back when cutie was not well, at a few desperate moments I did ask God to transfer all her ailments and pains to me. I was reading, ear infection and rapture of eardrum is usually common in children between ages 2-7, adults are not that prone. So could it be so? Could it be so that God really listened to my prayers. May it be so, may it be so that this quota of sickness gets covered by me, and never touch cutie.

Mush feed of the day....listening with one ear!
Dire Straits - So Far Away


So Far Away-Dire Straits-Lyrics
Here I am again in this mean old town
And you're so far away from me
And where are you when the sun goes down
You're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just cant see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

I'm tired of being in love and being all alone
When you're so far away from me
I'm tired of making out on the telephone
And you're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just can't see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

I get so tired when I have to explain
When you're so far away from me
See you been in the sun and Ive been in the rain
And you're so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just cant see
So far away from me
You're so far away from me

Too lazy to write....

Oh I thrive on mush. No use pretending otherwise.



Queen - The Great Pretender lyrics

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending I’m doing well (ooh ooh)
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Ooh ooh yes I’m the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I’m not (you see)
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around

Yeah ooh hoo
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Oh yes I’m the great pretender

What a flamboyant performer, and what a (OMG)band!

Muffin magic

Gorged on a hot blueberry muffin(still not well, and so continue craving unusual "not my kinda" stuff), flushed it down with water and a dose of paracetamol, and lo(!), this is what comes out!!!

Oh yeah I am in pain.
God knows I'm trying hard.
Heart is constantly crying
But the mind's always on guard.

I ain't gonna give up.
No. Noway.

Sometimes it's easy,
Somedays are darn rough.
But that's what is called life,
And I'm fighting to be tough.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

There's hardly a reason.
Still, I keep loving you.
Each passing day is a test.
Hopes's riding high, when chances're few.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

You would've loved this(I know),
Day's crisp and the sun's shining bright,
Something strong is telling me,
Somehow, everything's gonna be alright.

I ain't gonna give up.
No.Noway.

(I cannot help but think that this looks pretty good man! Wish I had somebody to put this to tune).

Voice angels

Sunday lunch was good. It was a potluck, I cooked mutton. I cooked after a long time, everybody loved it, thank God I haven't yet lost it. Still don't feel good though, my sinusitis is killing me, and I hate taking steam inhalation:(.

Back to music, much refreshing and a good distraction.

Alicia Keys-No One

She is such a beautiful woman, and such a powerful voice.

Leona Lewis-Bleeding Love


Bleeding Love-Lyrics

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding love.


Another gorgeous woman with a voice to match!

Ella Fitzgerald-Everytime We Say Goodbye


Everytime We Say Goodbye-lyrics

Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When youre near, theres such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
Theres no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
Minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

Ella Fitzgerald-Lullaby Of Birdland


Lullaby of Birdland Lyrics
Artist(Band):Ella Fitzgerald

Oh, lullaby of birdland
That's what I always hear,
When you sigh,
Never in my wordland could there be ways to reveal
in a phrase how I feel

Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo, when they love?
That's the kind of magic music we make with our lips
When we kiss

And there's a weepy old willow
He really knows how to cry,
That's how I'd cry in my pillow
If you should tell me farewell and goodbye

Lullaby of birdland whisper low
Kiss me sweet, and we'll go
Flying high in birdland, high in the sky up above
All because were in love

Ooo Ooo Ooo

Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo, when they love?
That's the kind of magic music we make with our lips
When we kiss

And there's a weepy old willow
He really knows how to cry
That's how I'd cry in my pillow
If you should tell me farewell and goodbye

Lullaby of birdland whisper low
Kiss me sweet, and we'll go
Flying high in birdland, high in the sky up above
All because were in love

Dolly Parton-Jolene


Dolly Parton-I'll Always Love You


Artist: Parton Dolly
Song: I Will Always Love You
Album: Live & Well

If I should stay
Well I would only be in your way
And so I'll go, and yet I know
That I'll think of you each step of my way

And I will always love you
I will always love you

Bittersweet memories
That's all I have and all I'm taking with me
Good-bye, oh please don't cry
Cause we both know that I'm not what you need

But I will always love you
I will always love you

And I hope life will treat you kind
And I hope that you have all
That you ever dreamed of
Oh I do wish you joy and I wish you happiness
But above all of this, I wish you love
I love you, I will always love you

I, I will always, always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you

Enya-Only Time


Enya-Only Time lyrics


Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

(chants)

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

(chants)

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,In your heart.
And who can say when the day sleeps,
The moon still keeps on moving
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

(extended chants)

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows? Only time...
Who knows? Only time...

Enya-Wild Child


Enya-Wild Child
Music: Eithne Ní Bhraonáin
Lyrics: Roma Ryan

Ever close your eyes
Ever stop and listen
Ever feel alive
And you've nothing missing
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Let the rain fall down
Everywhere around you
Give into it now
Let the day surround you
You don't need a reason
Let the rain go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Only take the time
From the helter skelter
Every day you find
Everything's in kilter
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on

Every summer sun
Every winter evening
Every spring to come
Every autumn leaving
You don't need a reason
Let it all go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Da-da da da da da, da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
What a way, what a way to make it through
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
What a way, what a way to make it through
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

One of my favourite singers, and song. What a happy song this is and I love to sing along.

Enya-It's In The Rain


Artist: Enya lyrics
Album: Amarantine
Year: 2005
Title: It's In The Rain

Everytime the rain comes down
I close my eyes and listen
I can hear the lonesome sound
Of the sky as it cries

Listen to the rain
Here it comes again
Hear it in the rain

Feel the touch of tears that fall
They won't fall forever
In the way the day will flow
All things come, all things go

Listen to the rain... the rain
Here it comes again... again
Hear it in the rain... the rain

Late at night I drift away
I can hear you calling
And my name is in the rain
Leaves on trees whispering
Deep blue seas, mysteries

Even when this moment ends
Can't let go this feeling
Everything will come again
In the sound falling down
Of the sky as it cries
Hear my name in the rain

Nocturnal venture

Defied the virus,
And stepped outside,
In quest of some goodtime.
Little aches I had to abide,
But the night was so sublime.
Three cheers to us!

Finally decided not to reconcile to the sickness and go out and have some fun. Fun it was. Very liberating. Watched The Last Lear, as didn't manage to get tickets for Rock On. The movie was good, slow, complex, but good. I liked it. Arjun Rampal rocks! What a hunk! He can act too, very well that is, these days. And Shefali Shah, what a beautiful and talented woman she is. There are some people whose eyes are so expressive that you hardly need to see beyond them, inspite of added physical attractiveness. She is such a person, she has large liquid beautiful eyes which do all the talking, she might as well keep mum!

Rituparno Ghosh is capable of understanding and portraying complex human emotions. Laudable effort. Sometimes cliched, but mostly excellent cinema. There's always this element of expectation, and the unknown. Needs to be watched with a very clear state of mind though.

Weekend is not that bad afterall. Supposed to have lunch with friends on Sunday. Just need to feel a bit better physically before that.

Desperately by Don Williams

Desperately Lyrics
Artist(Band):Don Williams


My heart is out of control this ole love struck soul
Just lives for the moment you're around
When I hold on to you it is all I can do just to keep my feet on the ground
Desperately loving you desperately
When you're not here with me I get a little bit crazy
Constantly I think about you constantly
Look at what you've done to me I'm just like a little baby
Oh I love you desperately
[ ac.guitar ]
Will I laugh will I cry will I live will I die it all depends upon you
And it is dangerous I know to be lost in you so but I am and there's nothing I can do
Desperately loving you desperately...
[ ac.guitar ]
Desperately loving you desperately...

I Believe in You by Don Williams

Artist: Williams Don
Song: I Believe in You
Album: Don Williams - 20 Greatest Hits


I don't believe in superstars,
Organic food and foreign cars.
I don't believe the price of gold;
The certainty of growing old.
That right is right and left is wrong,
That north and south can't get along.
That east is east and west is west.
And being first is always best.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,
For only those who congregate.
I like to think of God as love:
He's down below, He's up above.
He's watching people everywhere.
He knows who does and doesn't care.
And I'm an ordinary man,
Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love.
I believe in music.
I believe in magic.
And I believe in you.

Well, I know with all my certainty,
What's going on with you and me,
Is a good thing.
It's true, I believe in you.

I don't believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be.
In working days and sleeping nights,
That black is black and white is white.
That Superman and Robin Hood,
Are still alive in Hollywood.
That gasoline's in short supply,
The rising cost of getting by.

But I believe in love.
I believe in old folks.
I believe in children.
I believe in you.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Don Williams, Another Place Another Time

Don Williams, Another Place Another Time lyrics

Oh it's late I know I should be leaving
We've both got someone waiting we'll have to go
And it's so strange to think that I just met you
I almost wish I'd met you long ago
In your eyes I see a certain look and that same look must be in mine
And who knows just what we might have been another place another time

I'll admit in time that I'll forget you
Cause the truth is I still love her after all
But even though we knew it couldn't happen
For a moment we felt something oh so strong
And in your eyes...
And who knows just what we might have been another place another time

A waltz for a night by Julie Delpy

From the movie Before Sunset


Let Me Sing You A Waltz
out Of Nowhere, Out Of My Thoughts
let Me Sing You A Waltz
about This One Night Stand

you Were For Me That Night
everything I Always Dreamt Of In Life
but Now You're Gone
you Are Far Gone
all The Way To Your Island Of Rain

it Was For You Just A One Night Thing
but You Were Much More To Me
just So You Know

i Hear Rumors About You
about All The Bad Things You Do
but When We Were Together Alone
you Didn't Seem Like A Player At All

i Don't Care What They Say
i Know What You Meant For Me That Day
i Just Wanted Another Try
i Just Wanted Another Night
even If It Doesn't Seem Quite Right
you Meant For Me Much More
than Anyone I've Met Before

one Single Night With You Little Jesse
is Worth A Thousand With Anybody

i Have No Bitterness, My Sweet
i'll Never Forget This One Night Thing
even Tomorrow, Another Arms
my Heart Will Stay Yours Until I Die

let Me Sing You A Waltz
out Of Nowhere, Out Of My Blues
let Me Sing You A Waltz
about This Lovely One Night Stand

I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it. This movie is so great, I have missed Before Sunrise, gotta catch it. Both Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are so good, and this song comes at the end of the movie, like the cliched cherry on the pie!

Sick and hungry

What a crappy weekend this one turned out to be with all the fever and cold:(! All I feel like doing is gorge on hot, spicy, sweet and sour stuff like chaats!!! Poor hubby is made to run around for these. I am so lucky to have a husband like him. When I look at husbands of my friends and aquaintances, I cannot help but thank my stars. Cutie is lucky too, having a father like him. With a super volatile mom around, such a father was badly needed.

Anyways, today was supposed to be girls night out, movie Rock On, night show. Was all excited and looking forward to this, sadly would have to do with "saturday night fever" instead!

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN by Poison

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
LYRICS


We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

It's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar will remain

I know I could save a love that night
If I'd known what to sayInstead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

and now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

Love to love you by The Corrs

Lyrics & Music By: The Corrs



I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
I, met you on a sunny Autumn day,
You instantly attracted me,
when asking for the way,
God if I had known the pain I'd make you feel,
I would have stopped this thought of us,
and turned upon my heel,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Time will help you see the light,
You don't need me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,

You recognised my barrier to love,
I know there's nothing worse than unrequited love, unrequited love,
So I prayed to God that I could give the love you gave to me,
But something's lying in my way, preventing it to be,

Though you should leave me,
Time make it be alright,
Though you must leave me,
Believe me when I tell you,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
I would love to love you like you do me,
I'd love to love you like you do me,
There's a pillar in my way you see,
I'd love to love you like you do me

Break those pillars down,
Break those pillars down,
Take those pillars down, down, down,
Oh, take those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Break those pillars down,
Love to love you like you do me,
Oh take those pillars down

Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Love to love you,
Take those pillars down,
Love to love you

There's something hauntingly beautiful about Irish music....

Rave reverie

I am sick...fever, headache, sore throat and every other thing that comes with it! Poor hubby had to take leave. Inspite of not feeling well, inspite of doses of paracetamol, couldn't make myself sleep a little bit. Thus this indulgence in disjointed thoughts.

I have a few secret dreams.....most should remain unexpressed.....two I can talk about.

Secret dream #1 I want to have a published book to my name. Seems impossible. Reading about famous authors like Arundhati Roy, Amitav Ghosh, Vikram Seth, David Davidar, Jhumpa Lahiri etc etc, I have come to know that all of them are highly qualified people. I am neither a literature student, nor a holder of hi-fi degrees, sadly:(. Thus this dream too, like all others, would just remain a dream, probably. My supremely optimist husband says "You never know!" How I would love to believe him.

Secret dream #2 I want to meet Vikram Seth. Not just 'meet' 'meet', like in famous author and autograph seeking reader kinda scenario, but to be able to sit and talk to him, a little more than the time I take for my usual inhibitions to drop and be myself. I also realize, for this dream to come true I'd probably have to make the first one happen. Chances are bleak, I know.

I love to dream, still.

You don't know what it's like to love somebody the way I love you.

Artist: The Bee Gees
Album: Bee Gees' 1st
Year: 1967


There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shone on me
I want my life to be lived with you
Lived with you

There's a way everybody say
To do each and every little thing
But what does it bring
If I ain't got you, ain't got

You don't know what it's like, baby
You don't know what it's like
To love somebody
To love somebody
To love somebody
The way I love you

In my brain I see your face again
I know my frame of mind
You ain't got to be so blind
And I'm blind, so very blind

I'm a man, can't you see
What I am
I live and breathe for you
But what good does it do
I ain't got you, ain't got

Traaalaaaaaaaaa ....... here comes the song of the day! I really like this song. I like most of their songs. I listen to this song and think how it starts on a near normal tone, and slowly with the advancing stanzas it starts perpetuating sadness. A profound sadness arising from the sense of hopelessly being in love with an impossible person.

To think of it, in reality too, it takes some time for any kind of profound emotion experienced to sink in, isn't it. This song seems so personal, as if while in the process of singing the singer suddenly realizes the truth of the lyrics and cannot help the sadness of his heart from creeping into the rendition, slowly.

This is a song by Bee Gees, written and performed by them. Such lyrics don't just happen, we like to believe that they are fruits of some personal experiences. It made me wonder.....these people are famous people, and we usually associate famous people with luck and fortune, luck atleast in love. Who wouldn't fall in love with a rockstar or a popstar or whatever! Someone sure didn't, as the song indicates. We humans, 'nobodies' as well as a 'somebody' always do manage to fall in love with a wrong person, always, at some point in our lives. Strange.

( Now I am trying to get into the heads of the Bee Gees.....ha ha....I am absolutely fascinating!)

You wanna make a memory by Bon Jovi

Artist / Band : Bon Jovi
Single Lyrics from Album : Lost Highway
Released : March, 2007
Genre : Hard Rock



Hello again, it’s you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin’ wine, killing time
Trying to solve life’s mysteries

How’s your life, it’s been a while
God it’s good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave

If you don’t know if you should stay
If you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just breathe
There’s nowhere else tonight we should be

You wanna make a memory?

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had.
It’s bittersweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringing I don’t wanna ask

If you go now, I’ll understand
If you stay, hey, I’ve got a plan
We’re gonna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You can sing the melody to me
And I can write a couple of lines

You wanna make a memory?

I chanced upon this album at the gym today. I absolutely loved it, and had to ask at some point which one this was. Gotta buy this soon. I love the album name too. Until I get hold of the ONCE soundtrack, guess I'll stay hooked to this one for sometime now:).

Selfish busyness

Indeed, a very busy day,
Not a moment to spare,
Unbound from the shackles of thought,
On such days I hardly care.
Nothing matters, even ones so dearly sought,
I feel free and faraway.

Inspite of the day being quite busy, and inspite of me trying to keep my mind blank, something strange did manage to happen. And now I cannot stop myself from thinking, atleast to some extent about the past. A blast from the past kinda thing:)!!! I am utterly confused....should I feel pity, or should I let myself derive sadistic pleasure from the situation(which somehow I am not being able to do as I cared too much once). I guess I should just let myself feel sad, and reinforce my belief in the statement that "whatever happens, happens for the best". It did, for me. Not for the other person though, probably.

Days account

Spent almost the entire sunday at my cousins place. This is one place where I feel completely at ease. The whole day, we just ended up pulling each others legs and eating, God did we overeat today! Yesterdays tummy ache might come back tonight:(. Had a really relaxed weekend after a long time.

We laughed and we ate
Chocolate, pasta and cheese,
Chicken and crab even.
Sunday was fun, cousin's a tease,
His craziness totally proven.
But I love him albeit!

Thought of the long long night....

"it is fascinating how our lives are defined not only by people who are with us - but also by some that cannot be."

Quoting a person I know, or rather used to know long time back(whom I still know, but in a different way). This he wrote in a mail to me while talking about the movie 'ONCE'. How true. How very true. As if he read my mind(or rather my blog...)!

Came back from a party, with tummy ache and a very bad headache:(. I guess I am going to be sick on sunday. Inspite of physical discomfort it was a nice evening. It was mostly a gathering of families with children of different sizes, it feels good to see your kid interacting with other kids, now that she speaks in sentences(that too in english, which is important here as her peers are multilingual), it's all the more fun watching them play together. She had a great time, and me too, watching her having so. Someone commented that she is becoming sweeter with passing time, and very typically I replied that she's bound to be, she is my daughter afterall, sweetness personified. Surprisingly the speaker very enthusiastically(and seriously) agreed with me:).

Someone else complimented me by saying that I am a very creative person(don't know why/where that came from). Feels good to hear good things though, about ownself and people you so love.

Memories old and somewhat fresh,
Some bitter, some sweet,
Mostly not gone un-cherished.
Some moments're all-time treat,
While few are better perished.
Just need to sieve and thresh!

I dwell too much in the past, recent as well as long gone, how sad is that. This is getting kinda regressive. Gotta think about something fresh, ziplock fresh!!!

Free spirit

The sunshine is on
And sky is bright and blue,
And the spirit is to be free.
Mind's clear, nothing to rue
Found atlast the lost key
To happiness. The gloom's gone!

AAAAh what a relief:). The feel of the sunshine changes with season. Since a few days back it has taken on a lighter, fresher, brighter hue. One look outside and the heart suddenly soars with an unexplained happiness. I am thankful, oh yeah, that I feel this way today. I am trying, I am trying very hard. I am a positive person by nature, I hate to be sad, I always find ways to feel happy. Hope that doesn't change too often. Some dark days are fine, they make you more reflective and introspective, you become wiser, they are also needed. But I want to be happy and free most of the days of my life. Brooding leads to nothing.

I have a strong sense of smell(ha ha...now what is this leading to!), perhaps an outcome of spending too many years of my life with dogs and cats:). I don't know if other people feel this way, but I have noticed that the night air smells different from the morning air, and early morning air smells different from daytime air. It happens rarely these days, but I love it when I get a chance to spend the entire night outside, and feel the difference in the fragrance of air with each passing hour until it's morning. There is something magical about night. You know a person for very long, spend many waking moments with that person, you like each other and everything, but then you get a chance to spend a night in conversation,and then there's suddenly a special kind of bond. I have experienced this in many instances, cousins became best buddies after a night spent talking instead of sleeping, friends became lovers, lovers became soulmates and so on and so forth.

I am hugely capable of disoriented thoughts...ha ha.

Phoney fun

Me possessing a cell phone has become a source of jokes these days. People are actually making fun of me. I'll tell why.

I have a phone since about three years. Initially, until my baby came home it was a much used device. However things changed after her. It took me a very short time to realize that my phone preferred to ring, always, mind always, when my baby was asleep. And it would most certainly, at such times, be someone I didn't really want to talk to. I almost always forgot to keep it out of the bedroom, and it would definitely start ringing once I put her to bed, strangely, any time of the day and she would wake up, and I would have to start the process all over again. I would get so frustrated. Once I started to get busy and occupied with her I got lesser and lesser time to communicate with people. So one day I just switched off the phone on impulse. It remained that way most of the days. I would just switch it on when 'I' wanted to call somebody or send a message to. People kept calling, some tried my landline, but then I hardly had time to talk anymore. Most got irritated at some point and stopped calling. I also didn't make much effort owing to my anti social behaviour! I was a devoted mom and nothing else mattered.

But now that she has grown up, has started going to school I have to keep the phone switched on. Teachers call sometimes, the pick up guy calls sometimes, so you see. No one else calls up on my cell, except family, the ones who know my landline are in touch, but I have lost the rest. Oh another thing, I recently even got myself a nice looking new phone, and a new connection too. When I gave the number to a few close friends they laughed and asked what's the use, is my phone ever switched on??? I sheepishly said yeah, these days. They didn't quite take me seriously though.

Yesterday in the morning my phone rang, hubby and daughter shouted "Yippppppppppeeeeee mama's phone is alive!"

Goan holiday

The sea and the sand
And dark clouds above,
Waiting to be one.
The miles that we drove
Were green and Goan.
Memories'll always be grand.

Magic moment

On a dark lazy rainy night
Came a very hazy moon,
For the shortest magical time.
Oh was it worth a swoon!
As if it came for no reason or rhyme,
Only to make the moment right!

Lovesick

Being foolish and clueless
I suffer everyday.
You know it, and hardly care,
Or you do, but just play.
I won't ask, I wouldn't dare,
I am tired and sick of this mess.

After writing this I realized that it somewhat resembled Dylan's 'Lovesick', thus stuck to the name. Dylan's song has words like:-

"I'm sick of love but I'm in the thick of it
This kind of love I'm so sick of it"
and
"I'm sick of love; I hear the clock tick
This kind of love; I'm love sick"
and
"I'm sick of love; I wish I'd never met you
I'm sick of love; I'm trying to forget you

Just don't know what to do
I'd give anything to
Be with you."


ha ha. I absolutely love this song. Paradoxical and so apt.

Desperately devoted

Far far away,
Beyond my hearts desire,
Your face slowly fades,
I so long to keep the fire
Burning in love shades.
Don't douse it I pray.

Pursuit

I am living in a lucid dream,
I refuse to wake up.
Possibilities plenty in my realm,
I refuse to give up.
I take you as my guiding beam,
I so aspire to catch up.

Musical musing

Lazy lazy bum bum
That's what I am.
Music clouds the head and heart
And all I do is hum.
Life's stuck in a jam,
This euphony's now the saving part.

If You Want Me - Lyrics, from the movie 'Once'

If You Want Me, Lyrics by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova Featured in the motion picture Once


Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
for it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore

When I get really lonely
and the distance causes our silence
I think of you smiling
with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me,
if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me,
if you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you’d believe me
when others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
when you know I really try
to be a better one to satisfy you
For you're everything to me
and I’ll do what you ask me
if you’ll let me be, free

If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me, if you want me satisfy me

Oh here I go ONCE more:). I give up, unless I get hold of the soundtrack and perhaps listen to it some thousand times, I absolutely refuse to get over this. These songs are so beautiful, they are actually inspiring me to try my head in poetry ONCE again:). Pure bullshitting though they are turning out to be!
Okie dokie for now, g'nite.

My poor baby...

Cutie pie is down and ill
Now who's to be blamed?
None but the sudden chill
And the virus to be tamed.
Heck no, another medico bill
Papa has got to get claimed:(!

Blocked brains

Tick tock tick tock,
Moments pass by.
Mind is going blank
And thoughts're going shy.
Digging for the think tank,
Found it under lock.

Godly gibberish

I don't come from an inordinately religious family. My parents have a Guru, they firmly believe in Him, the Guru has become God, my mom feeds him, talks to him, chants mantra etc etc....but they are essentially non-fussy, accepting, and (more than average)broad-minded people. They have never forced religion upon me, I am grateful.

Until a couple of years back I believed what they believe. Then I went through a very difficult phase in my life and started thinking about things differently, my equation with God changed drastically. In the process I have realized that whatever I ever REALLY wanted in life has been granted. Those that were denied, there was/is a higher purpose...I realized/realize posthumously, once the pain started/starts dying down. I completely believe in a higher power, I have experienced surreal situations when things were out of my control, a dream like feeling, and the outcome of my actions in such conditions have always been rewarding. I have taken many important decisions on impulse, when too tired to analyse anymore, when I felt that if I think another thought my head would burst.....and in most cases they worked....when there's no explanation there's God I say:).

I am in a dilemma today. Since childhood I have seen idol worship(as in offering food, water, chanting shlokas etc etc). I don't believe in all this. So I don't want to continue doing so. I believe God is a state of mind. God is the power to take right decision. God is the power to choose between right and wrong. God is to be a good and honest being. God is to be able to love, love so deeply that you forget to expect something in return. But then whenever I decide to stop these playhouse activities surrounding idols I feel guilty. Oprah Winfrey had once said that when in doubt don't do the thing. So I'd probably not stop doing what I was doing all these years. Hypocritical I know, but somehow I feel I owe this to my parents, especially my mom. We do so many mindless things everyday, this will not harm anybody.

However. I don't believe in the concept of human Gurus. I don't believe in any organised religion. I don't believe in the strength of any chanting. I believe in the human mind, the human heart, and what they are capable of achieving. Any kind of confinement, set ideas, set beliefs, ritualistic activities suffocate me. I believe that there is this innate energy that all of us are born with, and fail to nurture and provide it strength. So much power, energy is lost in pettiness, the mundane, in the constant struggle to race ahead. We have it in us, why rely on someone else, or some outer energy. What good does it do to spend half an hour in meditation when we can actually live life for that half hour and experience reality. What can be more strengthening than living life in real. What can be more calming than being able to continue beyond an obstacle in reality. What can be more fulfilling than to look back and say I have learnt from life!

My primary religion is living life itself. I don't want to run away from it and hide in some temple or ashram or behind another human being's/God man's thought process. I want to experience love in it's deepest form, joy and pain, however severe it is. I want to live life, as it comes, everyday.

The Hill - Lyrics, from the movie 'Once'

The Hill, Lyrics by Glen Hansard Featured in the motion picture Once
Walking up the hill tonight and you have closed your eyes
I wish I didn't have to make
all those mistakes and be wise
Please try to be patient and know that I'm still learning
I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning

Where are you my angel now don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all but you can't say I'm not trying
I'm on my knees in front of him but he doesn't seem to see me
But all his troubles on his mind
he's looking right through me
And I'm letting myself down beside this fire in you
And I wish that you could see that half my troubles too
Looking at you sleeping I'm with the man I love
I'm sitting here weeping while the hours pass so slow
And I know that in the morning I'll have to let you go
And you'll be just a man once I used to know
And for these past few days someone I don't recognise
This isn't all my fault when will you realise

Looking at you leaving, I'm looking for a sign .

I still cannot get over this movie. And the music. I need the music cd, anyhow. I guess that would be difficult:(.