Wasted

With you I have known,

Unbound happiness,

With you I have felt,

The deepest hurt,

With you my hopes,

Have lived and died,

With you,

I have found my dreams,

My world.

I don't know where,

I stand today,

And whether,

Your heart, has gone astray,

We have grown apart,

Over lost time,

My mind pushed

You away,

My thoughts,

Clutched you tight.

I have given up,

I have crumbled down,

I have seen the truth,

I have broken the rules,

Nothing helps,

Nothing calms,

So I accept,

I have no doubts,

I am wasted,

With you,

Or without.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The time-traveller

Down the lonely alleyways of time,

I have travelled long,

Hopeless and hopeful,

Until I saw you today,

Appearing across a lightyear,

Sitting unaware,

Beyond two sheets of impenetrable glass sheets,

On the other bus,

Besides mine,

Stopping by,

For a few earthly seconds.

My fruitless travel ended,

Only to watch you get lost,

Once again,

The only face I dearly sought,

In the lonely alleyways,

Of this city so well known,

For so long,

Hopeless and hopeful.

I sat rooted,

Paralyzed by tiredness,,

For the first time.

Incapable,

Of embarking on another timeless journey,

Who can tell,

Perhaps,

Of a lifetime.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Inspired by "An equal music" by Vikram Seth.

The bachelor

I am still standing here,

In comfortable aloneness,

Where the road takes a turn,

Towards infinity,

I had seen you disappear, there,

Round the corner of my youth.

I've tried looking back in vain,

I've tried moving ahead in vain,

This constant tug of war,

Once tore me apart,

The hazy past of frayed memories,

And a clean slate of a future without you,

My courage got stranded,

Somewhere,

Between either way,

In a sea of complacency.

So,

I'm still standing here,

In comfortable aloneness,

Where the road takes a turn,

Towards infinity.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Inspired by "An equal music" by Vikram Seth.

The unfaithful

I look at him and pretend,

That it's you that I see,

My heart misses a beat everytime,

I find his eyes on me.

I smile at him and pretend,

That I see your handsome face,

He doesn't have a dimple like you,

But I pretend, I see a trace.

I hear him speak,

And I shut my eyes,

Pretending it to be your voice,

Spewing as ever, beautiful lies.

I touch him each day,

Lying beside,

I pretend not to feel the pain,

As little by little I die inside.

He is so gentle,

He is so good,

He belongs to me,

As to him I should.

He says I am gentle,

He says I am good,

Then why are you not mine,

Like you should.

I am a great pretender,

Dragging him along with me,

I spin this dirty death web,

Unable to set him free.

I love you,

He is my life.

You be free instead,

Run away from this selfish strife.

Go, go afar,

Leave alone my troubled thoughts,

From this ugly web from today,

Let me begin undoing the knots.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

In mourning

I mourn the death

Of a non-existent lover,

Tugging at the heart strings,

Of a chest full of memories.

A certain look in your eyes,

Or was it just the truant light?

That secret smile,

Or was it always just a smirk?

Those silken words,

Wish I knew they were lies.

The longing,

The wait,

All so vivid,

So well imagined.

A dream remains a dream i guess,

So,

Ghost of a lover,

Goodbye.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The pub

Oh this thirst

For an evening

Spent with the ghosts

Dancing

The razzle

The dazzle

The music

The babble

1 2 3 shots

Dazed

There you go

A haze

This pain

A history

Those stranger eyes

My tomorrow

A mystery.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The quest

Go my friend,

See the world.

Soar high in the sky,

Burn yourself with the sun,

Drape the silver moon around,

And shine with the evening star.

Go my friend,

See the world.

Walk down the scorching desert,

Quenching your thirst for the unknown,

Endure the coldest night too,

Standing bravely with the mountain tall.

Go my friend,

See the world.

Sail with the furious waves,

In the high seas of a stormy noon,

Take a dip in the deep blue ocean,

Gathering timeless wisdom and wealth.

Go my friend,

See the world,

Become a star,

Strong,

And wise.

Search for all,

That you must know,

High up,

And deep below.

And that day,

When you finally find,

Your true self,

Come back,

Come to me,

In my arms to rest.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Age of innocence

You laugh at the silliest jokes,

jumping up and down with glee,

a butterfly, a pigeon chick, a candy

every time you see

In me a secret wish lures

my pursuit of happiness perhaps would
find an easy way out a little like yours

You cry now and then,

often without a reason

And stop the very next moment
as on your tinted field of vision

possibilities galore cast their spell
I wish my troubles would see the end

this constant struggle of heaven and hell

As I watch you sleep without a single frown

Over your tired brows
my dreams fade and the nightmare grows
Weary and restless everyday
each passing night I lie awake

wondering why and I wonder how
what more is there, what more will it take

And whenever a tiny shadow of fear

clouds your sweaty little face,

you come running in my arms

for shelter and some peace

I so wish for someone too every now and then

to hold my hand and stand by me

through either shine or rain

Don't get me wrong my baby,

I don't envy you,

I wish for you and I pray 
That with time you will stay

as untouched and innocent

Never to grow dark and cynical
like I have from years spent

© 2009 Rituparna Das

The promise

You asked me to write something,

A few lines for you today,

Believe me,

I tried,

Helplessly,

Hopelessly,

My old style being too obvious,

And my new one too obscure,

Wait my friend,

Until this storm inside, subsides,

Until my feelings strike a balance,

I'll write something for you,

I promise,

When,

I wish I knew.

© 2009 Rituparna Das

Total recall

It's time,

I have to go,

Don't come in my way,

Please,

I really have to go.

My old life,

Calls me back,

Mundane and peaceful,

Boring and happy,

A circle of love,

Teardrops and smiles,

Just like it was,

Before the storm,

Before you came along.

Don't come in my way,

Please,

That's where I belong.

© 2009 Rituparna Das