Beholden

I have travelled far and near,
To the mountains and the sea,
I've seen the turbulent storms,
And danced with the rain, carefree.

I have burned in desire,
I have died in pain,
I have known all joys worth knowing,
The dark inner evils I have bravely slain.

I thought I have seen it all,
I thought my heart has bled enough,
I thought my life to be the cliched "half full",
Caught in the mundane, smooth and rough.

Then I found you.
My search began,
For that one thing,
Which was never in my plan.

I dared not want you,
I simply loved,
The dream of possession,
Never once occured.

But the feeling was hard to contain,
So strong, I could hardly breathe,
The joy and pain of it all,
In it my heart, I let gently seethe.

For you I can drown myself,
In the fathomless ocean of tears,
For you I can stand at the precipice,
Engulfing all my petty fears.

You are free, you are not mine,
Yet I cannot repay your debt to me,
Do you realize the gift you gave,
The eyes to see the I, that I could be.
© 2009 Rituparna Das