Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The queen of my heart.


Today is my baby's 2nd birthday. I still remember vividly the events of the day we brought her home. We, as new parents were blissfully clueless. We were so happy and excited that no inexperience seemed unpleasant, including, changing her nappies. She was 7 months old....and hardly took time to warm up to her adoptive parents. Infact she was very happy and gurgling with joy, as if she already knew.
It's strange, but this entire episode in my life seems to be preordained. As if I also knew. When I was a child myself, when I hardly knew the meaning of adoption, I used to go around telling everybody that I will have one baby of my own, and I'll adopt the other one. No one I knew had ever adopted. Then how did I already know?
When i grew up and met my husband, then fiance, i once asked him, what if I cannot have a baby....he being as sweet as he is, had said, it doesn't matter, I was his baby:). Again as if I already knew.
When the actual time came, and I actually experienced difficulty in conceiving, I completely forgot about all these signs that i had received, I forgot all about the answers and solutions that were already there in my heart. I spent 3 painful years in expectation....and one news, one evening finally made me see the light. My sister-in-law, my husbands sister, who already had a 10 year old daughter was pregnant. Doctors had said she only had 25% chances of conceiving for the second time, and yet there she was, so gloriously pregnant with a baby, pregnant with joy. I cried bitterly that night and woke up the next morning wiser, some people are meant to be birth parents, nothing can stop that. Not everybody can adopt, not everybody can become a mother to a baby that she hasn't carried in her womb, I was the chosen one, this was my calling. That was it, the end of all my misery. I was a happy woman. My husband stood by me through all this, he is my best friend.
The entire process of adoption takes more than 6 months, it took us less than 2 months to bring our baby home....wasn't it predestined? There's this song by Savage Garden.....that says exactly how I feel.....
*Maybe it's intuition
but some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes,
I think I found my best friend
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only the sense of completion
And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazy
but I believe...

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life .*
I strongly believe that all of us get signs as to which people would come into our lives and change us forever; what circumstances await us. I believe that all of us have the power to know and understand how our lives would shape up.We fail to recognize this magical ability and lose ourselves to the nitty gritty of mundane routine. I have started believing in magic and miracles, I experienced too many to ignore them any more....it seems that I always KNEW some
people, some people who would change me forever, always, but never really realized until I actually met them:).

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