I have clutched it tight
Deep inside
Not letting it breathe
Fearing it would slip

I might get murdered for what I have to say in the following lines.....but I have immense faith in the freedom of expression and the right to "just be"....my blog even goes by the name Lais.sez-faire.

Wondering how to start the rambling....wars, disasters, natural and human, terrorism, any kind of mass destruction apparently cause nothing but misfortune, loss of life, and generations of hatred.

Now imagine a world where there haven't occurred the world wars, or any war for that matter, everybody is kind, and love is all around. The word 'PEACE' would not have been coined then I suppose, I believe. When everything is perfect, who strives for improvement, who bothers with 'betterment'. Utopia is fiction, but the mirage keeps us going from day to day.

I am beating around the bush I realize, let me come to my point....in my opinion selfishness, hatred, violence, and everything abominable is necessary for human existence, so that there can co-exist a possibility to rise in us, selflessness, love, peace, and everything beautiful a human being is capable of experiencing, everything great that a human being is capable of being. If there were no wars, would we be having heroes to worship? If there was no greed would there be millions of non-buddhist people pledging support for Dalai Lama from every corner of the world? If Jalianwalabagh never happened, would there be a Gandhi born? If Hitler became an artist and not a Fuhrer, would the Berlin wall be ever built and pulled down? If Somalia was not what it is, would there be volunteers for the peace corps? I can go on and on citing examples to support my weird stream of thoughts. But that's not important, I have no point to prove, it's just a thought, like the optimists say...to choose to see the glass half full. We fall, we rise, we fall again to rise again. For the best to surface, delving into the abysmal depth of worst is necessary.

It is very easy I realize to come up with such idealistic theories with a stomach full of goodies and wine quenched thirst. But that shouldn't stop me from being a neurotic and think the weirdest of thoughts! Everytime I get to hear something terrible happening, this is the thought that whirls in my system, this is the excuse I come up with for mankind in general. So thought of writing it down and get it done and over with! A concluding quote by Rabindranath Tagore "Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."

From the movie Anthony Firingee, sung by Manna Dey.

Like a Belgian chandelier I illuminate the music room
Once the night is spent, whoever wants me anymore?

Like a vial of perfume
My calling is to spread happiness with my fragrance
Once the scent is spent, whoever remembers the perfume?

Oh! This fire that rages in my soul
I understand yet I cannot explain
Words fail me

And so I keep chasing the elusive will-o-the-wisp in vain
Again and again.....
© 2011 Rituparna Das

Amidst
The happiest smile of a sunflower
The sweetest cooing of the Koel
The spreading colours of the flutterbies
And the lingering scent of thriving life all around

I go about carrying a tempest in my heart.

The Guardian Angel.

The winding, blinding lanes of the dark
Where innocence is lost
Ego rides high
Where the soul is ever searching
The lost meaning of life

A sudden bend
A glowing friend
The darkness lifts
The fragrance of hope
Not everything is wrong
Above the mist
Somewhere rests
A carribean blue sky
Where music lilts
The magic lyrics
Sung by the angel that guards

I have heard
Yes I have heard

Beche Thakar Gaan from 'Autograph', sung by Rupam Islam.

If they talk about snatching your poetry stuffed diary
You should know, I'll not let them snatch

If they ask you to leave behind the city grown colloquiality
You should know, I'll not let you leave

And I know, yes I know
How each day the quicksand devours us

And I know, yes I know
About our frustrations of every night in search of the lost sounds

So just this way, on the softness of the pillow
In your complaining gaze
Let the night fairies bathe
The song of living on their lips

So just this way, on the sheet of a face
Caressed by a known hand
Let the night fairies bathe in happiness
Keeping alive the song of living on their lips

If for a moment you lose the correctness of life
You should know, I'll not let you lose

If they ask you to sell the soil interwoven with your roots
You should know, I'll not let you get sold

And I know, yes I know
How each day the quicksand devours us

And I know, yes I know
About our frustrations of every night in search of the lost sounds

So just this way, on the softness of the pillow
In your complaining gaze
Let the night fairies bathe
The song of living on their lips

So just this way, on the sheet of a face
Caressed by a known hand
Let the night fairies bathe in happiness
Keeping alive the song of living on their lips
© 2011 Rituparna Das

Amake Amar Moto Thakte Dao sung by Aanupam Roy, Movie-Autograph.

Let me be
I have done up my life my way

The thing that is missing, was never there anyway
Let it be
Let it remain unpossessed
Life is of no use
When every wish is granted

In your dimly lit world
Like the shattered and powdered glass on an evening
If you want to float away
Go, do as you like
I would not look through a binocular

The sail of this ship is torn and tattered
Yet I am trying to script my story of survival

I don't want to heed anymore attention
To her midnight tantrums
So I am trying again and again
To see if I can swim across

If ever, dripping down the sky quietly
Love comes over you at dawn
With sleep in your eyes
Don't go looking for me
I am nowhere around

Nobody turn the lights on for me
Having counted the waves in the sea of crowd
I have got lost in this railway station
I will not return by the last train

Pondering upon
A not so scrumptious
Slice of life
Concluded
I've got the proportions
Of the key ingredients
Of 'love' and 'restrain'
In this complex recipe
Grossly wrong!

This love has burned-out
All it's plausible colours
The first yellow conversation
The ensuing orange sigh
The red hot longing

Resigning to
Eternity and blue

In a heady drunkenness of defiance
The presumed ecstasy
The misjudged sense of freedom
And the bittersweet taste of lingering guilt

Only if, the forbidden fruit came "No Strings Attached".

In their eagerness to turn everything
That is, that was
To dust
The mocking hands of time
Forgot the stillness
That I carry in my heart
Of the moment
When I had
Both found and lost
The ground beneath my feet...

".........You never wish me on my birthday, we hardly meet, you will never touch me I know, you don't miss me and you will never call. I could live with all that, I could die in absolute peace, I never would have shed a single teardrop, just knowing that you exist.
Then the sky darkens, the wind picks up some earthy fragrance, a beautiful movie catches my breath, a song infiltrates my heart, a few lines from an old tattered book slips through my flipping fingers, and every wall inside me come crashing down, and all I do is cry.
So many little joys, so many little moments in my life will remain unshared. You will never know...."
-Anon.

Well, HELL!

I dream
I sigh
Resigning to dissolved reason
I smile
I cry

I wait at the crux
Of our star crossed paths
You sleep
So blissfully unaware.
In foolish glory
I breathe
I believe
In this raging war
In this raging love
Everything is good
Everything is fair

So you see
More or less
My life's screwed up
More, I guess
Now, who's gonna bail me outta this cosmic mess???!!!

"the more I look into your eyes the more I get drawn towards you."

"your companionship taught me that a girl doesn't have to be an electronics engineer to be of enchantingly entertaining intellect..."

"are you an avatar of Goddess Durga?"

lest I forget them, lest they are never repeated.....very precious and life changing lines.

Dazed and confused.

...and the light had gone cold
it's rays shunting
confused
between the yellow and the black
the inside bleakly throbbed
shivering
flickering
unsure
about to give up

I blew it dead
then, just like that
this torment
had to end
someday
some way

this darkness
this unbearable peace

all this while
I was lifeless anyway

The question.

Fighting the vagaries and every norm
It lasted long and strong
Snuggled somewhere deep within
Above all that is right or wrong

What's to be done with it now
How long can it live on
How far can it travel in time
Until it's dead and gone?

Kismet

This 'I'
Entangled enmeshed
Bonded forever
Warm and safe
Freedom no never

That 'I'
The call of the road
Stirs the wild vagabond
Restlessly seeking
Peace far beyond

This world or that
It's difficult to choose
On this little query
The kismet hangs loose!

The green revolution.

They roar and rumble
The heartless robots
They groan and grumble
The shirtless hobos

The piles of brick upon a brick
Rise high into sun kissed pillars
Mutely dwarfed beneath this antic
The green endures her noisy killers

Deep within her tender soul
She decides to live again
The sky and wind become her goal
Thro' the hardness she begins to strain

Time passes slow like thousand years
A journey up thro' a tiny crack
Of pain, fear and precious tears
With dreams of standing tall over this wrack

Blinding with it's brilliant light
A single golden ray
Brought an end to the struggle and fight
And so the green did win one day...

Winter

It's been a long winter

Icicles of pain
Still hurt the eyes
The heart stands cold
And that idiotic smile
Of utter disbelief
Still spreads frozen
Across a pure liquid trust

The fire has long died
Half forgotten memories
Buried deep in the embers
Lend no warmth

It's been a long winter
It's going to last a little longer this year